REVIEW: THE LAST TIME WE SAY GOODBYE BY CYNTHIA HAND.

Title: The Last Time We Say Goodbye
Series: Standalone
Author: Cynthia Hand
Edition: Kindle (eARC)
Publication: HarperTeen / February 10, 2015
Source: eARC provided by the publisher though Edelweiss
Pages: 400
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary (Mental Illness), Romance
Trailer: Not available.

Synopsis:

There's death all around us.
We just don't pay attention.
Until we do.

The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment.

Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be.

As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone-a text Tyler sent, that could have changed everything.

Lex's brother is gone. But Lex is about to discover that a ghost doesn't have to be real to keep you from moving on.

From New York Times bestselling author Cynthia Hand, The Last Time We Say Goodbye is a gorgeous and heart-wrenching story of love, loss, and letting go.

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The last time I cried (really, really cried, like the ugly sobbing kind) was when I watched The Fault in Our Stars. I remember feeling so tired and empty after. There's this weird feeling in my chest, it was like my entire chest cavity was stuffed with cotton. I couldn't breathe well, I just stared at nothing for God knows how long and the pain lingered. It was like something in me died. After the movie, the only word that came out of my mouth was "beautiful" and I apparently, I kept saying it over and over. I thought nothing could top that raw emotion because it felt real to me. Only, I was so, so wrong. After I read The Last Time We Say Goodbye, I felt everything again. This time, the pain was almost unbearable. And the ugly sobbing lasted an entire night.

It is always a good thing when you let books surprise you. As usual, I didn't know anything about this book aside from it's contemporary, that Epic Reads said it was good and that Cynthia Hand wrote it. This is my second Hand book, I absolutely enjoyed Unearthly. The Last Time We Say Goodbye magnified every single feels I never thought I would have towards a book. The story was well-written, the twists were plotted amazingly and placed at the right timing, the pacing was perfect, the characters were captivating. This book is so perfect I couldn't tell you how much I love every bit of it.

The Last Time We Say Goodbye encapsulates so many things: hate, pain, loss, hope, forgiveness and healing among other things. Its words act as a double-edged sword, you slice your heart page by page until tears is the only thing you know. Though it didn't focus much on how the loss part happened, it expounds the gravity of grief and regret. Its take on realities such as divorce and suicide is something that would leave a mark in your heart. The honesty of it, of how people deal with horrible situations, of how we could possibly cope with such was so compelling I can't find the perfect word to describe it. Am not saying it is amazing to go through this emotional and bumpy ride but this story is just simply unbelievably good. Our ability to see hope in amid of hopelessness is incredibly highlighted and our capability to feel in amid of numbness is amazingly crafted. This story is a story of regret that most of us hold on to, it is a story of healing that most of us long for and it is a story of undying love, a proof that "the people we love are never truly gone."

*cue tears.*

The Last Time We Say Goodbye is packed with heightened sense of grief. Not only immensely emotional, but it is thoroughly sensitizing and absolutely moving.

Thank you HarperCollins International for the eARC!

"Then he said, “All the best things are like that, though, Lex, the most beautiful things. Part of the beauty comes from the fact that they’re short-lived.” He picked up a bouquet of deep-red roses, held it out to me. “These will never be as beautiful as they are at this moment, so we have to enjoy them now.”"

"..because we hurt too much to forget."

"There's death all around us. Everywhere we look. 1.8 people kill themselves every second. We just don't pay attention. Until we do."

"..but you never know when it's going to be the last time. That you hug someone. That you kiss. That you say goodbye."

"Don’t cry any more tears over me, Ash. I’m not worth it. But I want you to know, in case I ever do give you this letter and you read it first before you burn it or something, that for just a little while, you made me feel like I was really alive. Like I was special. Thanks for that. Thanks for picking me to be the one who got to stand in your sunshine for a while. I’ll carry that around with me for the rest of my life—that you saw enough good in me that you wanted to hold my hand and kiss me and smile at me like I was the only guy. Be happy."