REVIEW: THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END BY ADAM SILVERA.

Title: They Both Die at the End
Author: Adam Silvera
Series: Standalone
Edition: Kindle
Publication: September 5th 2017 by HarperTeen
Source: eARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss
Pages: 384
Genre: Contemporary, M/M, LGBTQPIA+, Romance

Synopsis:
On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They're going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they're both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There's an app for that. It's called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure and to live a lifetime in a single day.

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I am a huge mess right now! I have been pacing back and forth and I just cannot wrap my mind around how gooooood this book is! It is definitely one of the best books of the year! This is my second Silvera book and HE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!

LIKE WTH JUST HAPPENED? My heart is racing right now because this book gave me so many things at once. There is the beauty of knowing you have one last day to live so you get the chance to literally live it to the fullest, there's the chance of becoming the person you always wanna be even for just a day, there's the ability to say proper goodbyes to people who meant so much to you and there's this opportunity for you to touch people's lives in more meaningful ways. You get to live the next several hours left pushing past your boundaries and making the most out of it without the fear of regrets later. I mean, if that's not beautiful, I don't know what is! What happened to Rufus and Mateo is etched in my heart so so deeply that it pushes me to get out of my comfort zone. This story just pushed me so hard that now I want to be out there leaving marks.

Mateo and Rufus' story is absolutely one story that will leave you on edge and holding your breath. The anticipation is so high I am both nervous and scared. Once you read it, it stays in your system and I swear, I would babble about this one for a long, long time. Their friendship breaks the stereotype that you have to know a person this long in order to build trust and all that bullshit because M and R had a day and theirs had even more history than some of my friendships combined. It's so special, nurturing, welcoming and free. I want more friendships like this.

They way the story was told is another thing that blows my mind. It's an alternating POV between M and R and several more surprise POVs which soooo kickass because of how they are interrelated. Words are failing me right now but this damn book should be made in to a movie and I wanna see this Number #1 in NYT BestSellers List because THIS IS ONE HELL OF A GRIPPING BOOK I WILL FOREVER BOOK PUSH TO YOU ALL. (That is if you aren't convinced yet that Silvera delivers, but I know you are BECAUSE THIS IS ADAM SILVERA, PEOPLE)

I think Adam is really the Evil Queen in disguise. He loves ripping our hearts out and enjoys swimming in his reader's tears.

They Both Die at the End is one of those books that will change you because you certainly won't be the same person after reading. A gripping story of two lives crossing paths at the very end, it all in all teaches you to live to the fullest, love hardcore and seize every fucking moment as if every day is your last day.

Thank you HarperCollins International for the eARC!

"But no matter what choices we make - solo or together - our finish line remains the same … No matter how we choose to live, we both die at the end."

"Entire lives aren't lessons, but there are lessons in lives."

"Maybe it's better to have gotten it right and been happy for one day instead of living a lifetime of wrongs."

"People have their time stamps on how long you should know someone before earning the right to say it, but I wouldn't like to you no matter how little time we have. People waste time and wait for the right moment and we don't have that luxury. If we had our entire lives ahead of us I bet you'd get tired of me telling you how much I love you because I'm positive that's thepath we were heading on. But because we're about to die, I want to say it as many times as I want--I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

REVIEW: WHAT HAPPENS NOW BY JENNIFER CASTLE.

Title: What Happens Now
Author: Jennifer Castle
Series: Standalone
Edition: Paperback
Publication: June 7th 2016 by HarperTeen
Source: ARC provided by the publisher
Pages: 384
Genre: Romance, Contemporary, Mental Illness

Synopsis:
"I know what it is to want something so badly, you feel like your cells aren’t properly bonded together without it.
I also know what it’s like to get that something.
And honestly, I’m still not sure which is worse..."

Ari Logan is battling to win her war against depression and the dark night she hurt herself on purpose. It’s not easy: her best friend is drifting away, her mom’s emotionally checked out, and she spends her days playing caregiver to her handful of a half-sister, Danielle. But it’s summer, and anything is possible...

That’s when Camden Armstrong steps onto the beach of Ari’s local swimming lake.

At first, Ari quietly longs for Camden from afar, seeing in him everything she wants to be. When the two discover a true connection the following summer, Ari lets herself fall not just for the quirky and self-assured Camden but also his friends, tumbling into their world of independence, adventure, and shared sci-fi fandom. As Ari’s romantic dreams come true, she must unlock the mysteries of the very real and troubled boy behind her infatuation, while also struggling with her own demons, obligations, and loyalties.

From the award-winning author of "The Beginning of After" and "You Look Different in Real Life," "What Happens Now" is a touching, insightful novel about learning to heal, learning to love, and what happens when fantasy becomes reality.

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I'm having one of those rare moments where I find myself staggering after reading a book. I've just been officially out of that disgusting reading slump yet I cannot seem to start reading another one after What Happens Now. But at least, book hungover is better than reading slump so I'd take it as a good bookish omen.

Honestly, I was skeptical *again* about What Happens Now because I was quite underwhelmed by The Beginning of After. As always, I didn't have the slightest clue as to what this book is about so I am absolutely surprised with what I read and I am truly pleased that it swept me off my feet.

What Happens Now is a love at first sight trope. Hold your horses right there. Indeed, it was that instant -- for Ari. However, the romance developed over how many summers and I find it quite enjoyable that the author explored it from there. You get to reminisce about a lot of the norms in your high school life - curfew, chores, baby sitting, school gossip but the bests are - friendship, family and your first love and heartache. If you look at it, What Happens Now is legitimately one of those cliche tropes in YA (and probably in your life) but with such good aim to parts of you that would hurt and produce tears. This story delves into depression in a way where healing is successful and that even though most things are uncontrollable, there's always hope and support everywhere.

Ari is composed of pieces of us woven into an amazing character as a whole. Yes, she's vulnerable, naive at times but submissive and responsible. We got a tough lady right here. One aspect I loved about her is her ability to know when to strike and her endless respect for her overprotective (most of the time ridiculous) mother. Her depression was something that just came out of nowhere but she's one of those people who just wants to 'release the pressure'. I relate to that a hundred times over because not everyone with depression just wants to check out but instead, to find an outlet. This is also the first time I've met a character who thinks this way. I am like, I found my people. The way she squares up with everyone who are fond of double standards will make you really reassess (kudos!). She's such a loving person that reading people and giving them what is expected of her came natural. I can see how Camden couldn't resist falling for her anymore.

Camden isn't perfect and that what makes his character likable. There were moments he's unlikely to man up which is infuriating but you'll eventually get the whys of his actions. His love for his friends is the kind we've all felt towards ours and I can't help but admire him page after page. Aside from he's attractive and swoony, his values and sense of respect just floods my heart with admiration. AND THE COSPLAYS!!! This part I enjoyed so so much because as a Gundam Builder and ToyCon attendee, this is a huge part of my world now and reading the experience from another point of view is so surreal! I'm so glad both Ari and Camden found a group who provided them with sense of belonging they've always needed.

Rainbow Rowell meets Robyn Schneider, What Happens Now is a story full of wonderfuls. A truly unforgettable story of two broken souls molded to piece their parts together. Its heart-warming romance is crunched by depression, toughened by distance but blossomed with time. What Happens Now is truly an outstanding novel I highly recommend!

What Happens Now that this story is over?

Thank you so much HarperCollins International for the galley!

"What was happy anyway? A dumb-sounding word, if you really broke it down. Happy was something you didn't think to much about because if you did, you knew you weren't." p14

"What was I afraid of? Anything that might tip me off balance and make me fall back into that place I knew was still there, waiting beneath all my newly glossed-over, smoothed-out surfaces." p17

"It's easy to make bad decisions when you're distracted by what's different and exciting." p243

REVIEW: ILLUMINAE BY JAY KRISTOFF AND AMIE KAUFMAN.

Title: Illuminae
Author: Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman
Series: The Illuminae Files #1
Edition: Paperback
Publication: October 20, 2015 by Knopf Books for Young Readers
Source: ARC provided by the publisher
Pages: 599
Genre: Young Adult, Sci-Fi, Romance

Synopsis:

This morning, Kady thought breaking up with Ezra was the hardest thing she’d have to do.

This afternoon, her planet was invaded.

The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than an ice-covered speck at the edge of the universe. Too bad nobody thought to warn the people living on it. With enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to fight their way onto an evacuating fleet, with an enemy warship in hot pursuit.

But their problems are just getting started. A deadly plague has broken out and is mutating, with terrifying results; the fleet's AI, which should be protecting them, may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on. As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it's clear only one person can help her bring it all to light: the ex-boyfriend she swore she'd never speak to again.

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Been staring at this blank space for hours and my brain has been hypnotized by the blinking cursor. Whenever I try to start this review with something I thought is clever, I delete and then stare at the cursor again. Type > delete > repeat for hours > I give up.

But here I go. But I am warning you, this review might be one of those incoherent ones I am so good at writing.

I read Illuminae (according to Goodreads) back in August of 2015 but it is only now that I found the courage to translate my feels to words. My feelings were just all over the place, my heart shattered to tiny bits and there is no point in trying anymore. That is one major review hungover right there. Illuminae was just the epitome of all YA uniqueness that finding the right words to use seriously took me quite a long time.

The first time I saw the BEA ARCs of this book, I got intimidated by how thick it is. I know myself too well that I won't be able to follow through thick books or slow paced ones. 600-page book is quite a long one so I was hesitant. When Hazel of Stay Bookish pushed her ARC to me, I grabbed the chance (I was then sent an ARC). And then everything became emotionally chaotic. Turns out that 600-page book just isn't enough to subdue the need for Book 2.

This line might have been said a thousand times over by people who have read it but I will say it again, I have never read a book like this before. I mean, the people responsible for the printing format made such a statement in the Sci-Fi genre. Every page of this book is so appealing I kept going back just to stare. The formatting was so clever like how the spaceships are trailed by the words, how the reports looked so authentic and how curse words are erased that you could use any curse words you want. It was like a fun game at some point that reading Illuminae made you want to re-read it right away.

Kristoff and Kaufman made such a great team. The balance in Illuminae was so obvious -- it wasn't too cheesy but has the right amount of romance, it wasn't too heavy on the technical aspect but has the right amount of guided explanation and it wasn't too crazy for the imagination but has the perfect elements of what you are already familiar with. What's striking is that even if there are similarities to movies such as Star Wars or Iron Man, the authors' signatures stand out. I was so hooked from page one that I felt like the book swallowed me, I felt like I wasn't reading but watching.

The love department didn't let me down. Where in the world could you see a couple breaking up on page 1 in the middle of an invasion? Where would you laugh your arse off watching the characters being cranky, funny, inappropriately sexy and nerdy while trying to save each other? Where would you be able to feel the need to cry for friends who fought hard and faced danger not only to salvage what's left but also to be there for you? Where would you get your heart broken more than all your lifetime's heartbreaks combined? Only Illuminae. This book is so heart breakingly good, I just can't tell you hard enough how brilliant it is. I cannot breathe it is so magnificent.

And even if I want to talk more about Kady and Ezra (hi there, sexy!), I won't. Because let me tell you this, I think I am close to liking

<*error*>

the technology behind AIDAN

<*error*>

 and I want to get to know

<*error*>

 this piece of tech deeper. This AI broke me so damn bad that I want

<*error*>

it to justify itself even a little.

<*error*>

It is a lunatic son of a bleep

<*error*>

but I can sense there would be something more to it

<*error*>. like humanity, perhaps?

Illuminae has taken me to an intoxicating universe where difficulty bonds love stronger, where technology pushes faith in humanity higher and where danger turns intentions better. There is nothing like Illuminae and by this I now pledge my solemn loyalty and allegiance to Kristoff and Kaufman because THEY HAVE NOT BEEN MERCIFUL at all.

Thank you Hazel of Stay Bookish for lending your BEA ARC and Penguin Random House for sending in my ARC!

"You deserve every star in the galaxy laid out at your feet and a thousand diamonds in your hair. You deserve someone who'll run with you as far and as fast as you want to. Holding your hand, not holding you back."

"Miracles are statistical improbabilities. And fate is an illusion humanity uses to comfort itself in the dark. There are no absolutes in life, save death."

REVIEW: CONFESS BY COLLEEN HOOVER.

Title: Confess
Series: Stand Alone
Author: Colleen Hoover
Edition: Paperback
Publication: March 10, 2015 by Atria Books
Source: Bought from Powerbooks
Pages: 306
Genre: Contemporary, Romance
Trailer: To follow!

Synopsis:

Auburn Reed has her entire life mapped out. Her goals are in sight and there’s no room for mistakes. But when she walks into a Dallas art studio in search of a job, she doesn’t expect to find a deep attraction to the enigmatic artist who works there, Owen Gentry.
For once, Auburn takes a risk and puts her heart in control, only to discover Owen is keeping major secrets from coming out. The magnitude of his past threatens to destroy everything important to Auburn, and the only way to get her life back on track is to cut Owen out of it.
The last thing Owen wants is to lose Auburn, but he can’t seem to convince her that truth is sometimes as subjective as art. All he would have to do to save their relationship is confess. But in this case, the confession could be much more destructive than the actual sin

I knew from the very start that Confess would blow my mind to bits. Just like how Hopeless and Maybe Someday did. I knew Hoover has something up on her sleeve that would give me all the feels. Damn was I right! My expectations for Hoover is consistently met and am just tremendously satisfied with her novels. It's like when somebody asks "should I get Hoover's novels?" I would go bat shit crazy and be like: "Duh! GO!".

Confess crushed me in ways I would have never imagined. I don't know how Hoover does it but each of her books has this ultimately soul-crashing twists that you just have to watch for. All throughout Confess, I was waiting for that back story on how Owen knew Auburn and when I got to it? Gaaaad, I think I was massacred inside. It was NOT something I anticipated -- it didn't even cross my mind! (That's one thing I adore about Hoover's books, I couldn't predict it no matter how much I say I knew what would happen next). Also, can we all take a moment and appreciate those pretty paintings? I mean, aside from they are stunning, the connection Owen tells us in the story is something you'd actually feel when you stare at them. I would personally rip them off and ask Hoover to sign them next weekend and frame them. Then I'll hang them on my wall and be reminded how this book made my tear ducts swollen.

Let me also tell you what makes Hoover one of my auto-buy authors. Her take on love-making is just the purest I've read. She put soul to it that it makes its value and importance stand out. I don't know, it could be just me but whenever I read her books, this sexy part is one thing I look forward to because I want to know how she molds the characters and how heavy the impact on the story would turn out to be. Like in Hopeless, I was shocked. In Confess, I was crushed. Sex makes her stories heavier and it's as if the characters bare their entire soul not just because they wanted to do it but because it is the right time and fuck those sexy lines! Always has a pinch the heart.

Then we have Owen. Owen who isn't only swoon worthy but Owen who is also one of the best characters ever written. He's past totally broke him but he tried harder to make everything right for Auburn. He wanted to fix his life for her. And the fact that he adored her - scars and all - was so awesome of him. I wish there are real people like him, it would definitely make the world a better place HAHA. Seriously, Owen would make the such a perfect boyfriend.

Auburn is someone with a subtle personality that mixed well with Owen's. She's weak at times and such a damsel in distress but I liked how it turned out. Her eagerness to be with the one she truly loves just carved out a black hole in my chest that I want to pick her up from the book and slap her then hug her tight. I like Auburn. Simple and beautiful inside out.

Confess can simply come out of your life and leave a trail of disaster feels on its trail. Gripping and delightful, Confess can definitely be that light at the end of the tunnel!

""Sometimes we don't get second chances, Owen. Sometimes things just end." He winces. "We didn't even get a first chance.""

""This is what I want you to remember, Auburn." He says softly. "I don't want you to remember what it feels like when I'm inside you. I want you to remember how it feels when I look at you.""

"Selflessness. It should be the basis of every relationship. If a person truly cares about you, they'll get more pleasure from the way they make you feel, rather than the way you made them feel."

REVIEW: THE ORPHAN QUEEN BY JODI MEADOWS.

Title: The Orphan Queen
Series: The Orphan Queen #1
Author: Jodi Meadows
Edition: Paperback
Publication: March 10th 2015 by Katherine Tegen Books
Source: ARC won from the publisher
Pages: 400
Genre: High Fantasy, Romance

Synopsis:

Wilhelmina has a hundred identities.

She is a princess. When the Indigo Kingdom conquered her homeland, Wilhelmina and other orphaned children of nobility were taken to Skyvale, the Indigo Kingdom’s capital. Ten years later, they are the Ospreys, experts at stealth and theft. With them, Wilhelmina means to take back her throne.

She is a spy. Wil and her best friend, Melanie, infiltrate Skyvale Palace to study their foes. They assume the identities of nobles from a wraith-fallen kingdom, but enemies fill the palace, and Melanie’s behavior grows suspicious. With Osprey missions becoming increasingly dangerous and their leader more unstable, Wil can’t trust anyone.

She is a threat. Wraith is the toxic by-product of magic, and for a century using magic has been forbidden. Still the wraith pours across the continent, reshaping the land and animals into fresh horrors. Soon it will reach the Indigo Kingdom. Wilhelmina’s magic might be the key to stopping the wraith, but if the vigilante Black Knife discovers Wil’s magic, she will vanish like all the others

Jodi Meadows introduces a vivid new fantasy full of intrigue, romance, dangerous magic, and one girl’s battle to reclaim her place in the world.

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My thoughts are basically incoherent right now because of so many feels for The Orphan Queen. I just finished reading it about 30 minutes ago (it's 4:14AM Manila Time) and seriously, my feels are all over the place I cannot even function properly.

This is my 4th Meadows book. I've enjoyed Incarnate, loved Asunder but didn't quite continue Infinite. Infinite just dragged and I have this annoyance over slow-paced books. With that, I was curious slash afraid of The Orphan Queen. I felt that somehow, the draggy writing style would continue. I was afraid that I might not like it and I might just get annoyed. Fortunately, the High Fantasy stars lined up and and blessed me with so much love for this book I myself couldn't believe it. This was a totally different Meadows. Her writing style was so fast-paced I flew through it with eagerness. This, I believe, is the best book Meadows have ever written yet. It has everything I was looking for: strong characters, rich world building, fantastic magic elements, right pacing, swoony romance, brilliant story line and MIND BLOWING PERFECTION OF AN ENDING!! (Okay, also dresses!)

When I say strong characters, I wasn't only referring to the physical aspects of it but the entirety of the characters' development. The characters (Wilhelmina, Tobiah, Melanie, Patrick, James) were fascinating in a way that they all have the bragging rights to call themselves kickasses. The way the have handled themselves in situations where they were expected to break down and sell themselves short was even beyond my comprehension. They were all well-mannered and they stood for what they believed in (though some of them got the best of their emotions). The glimpses of their backgrounds made it easy for me to know where they were all coming from and it made me feel closer to them. They all played their parts really well and that's totally impressive.

The world Meadows built in The Orphan Queen was so vast and vivid I can almost smell the forest and see the Mirror Lake. She has delivered a world so beautiful I was able to immerse myself in it a snap of a finger. It was so easy to memorize Skyvale Palace and even the West Pass Watch. I honestly can't wait to see more of Aecor and East Pass Watch!

The Orphan Queen is centered to what have caused the war ten years ago: Wraith. It's the side-effect of using magic for so long. What I enjoyed most was the part where I got curious about the magic element. There were so much possibility as to what kind of powers others have had suppressed and what were the origins of their magic. Not only the world building is fantastic but the power its people hold can bring a whole lot of history and heroism and unending story line! There's so much potential in there alone! Plus, animation as a power sounded so unique to me (I might have encountered it, I don't know, couldn't remember) that's why the the fascination showed right up to my face when I was reading it! It was all lovely and magical! *wink*

Okay. SO AM CALLING DIBS ON BLACK KNIFE ALRIGHT? If I have to murder Meridith or someone else, I will because Black Knife is mine alone? Understood?!!! I knew Black Knife's identity as soon as I landed on page 76. I knew it. He was so nice, kind, sweet, funny, brave, selfless, ninja-type if I may say which is a total turn on, romantic even and...just...swoon-worthy. He's such a flawless fictional boyfriend I couldn't let go off. He's mine, people. And I want to thank Meadows for making the romance side of the story not too mushy and also not too boring. It was blended perfectly and guys, just this once, thank the heavens above, this book has zero love triangle. Bravo!! Plus, it molded very well. The history of the love team goes back since they were young. It was one of the best front liner romances I've ever encountered and the bittersweet complications were things I've been craving for for so long now!

Oh and THE ending? I love it so much it hurts. Just one freaking line. Perfectly freaking written. Best freaking timing. That was it! That freaking ending, not only because it was a major to the highest level of cliffhangers a cliffhanger, cut the freaking story at the freaking perfect time! Like, nothing. Nothing at all. Oh good heavens, how I longed for this. How I wanted to have a life-ruining ending with just a simple line. A very tragic line. Wow. Am just truly amazed by how this book came to life. It was beyond what I expected it to be, I swear.

The Orphan Queen gilded dark past to a deceitful present. Stirring and engaging, this world of hidden identities and full blast badassery irresistibly grabs one's best in an utterly extrafreakingordinary way!

Thank you HarperCollins International for the review copy!

"Authenticity was the key to any deception."

"The best mask is a face no one will remember."

"Women are constantly underestimated. Women can just be as cunning and clever as men, and often times are. Our triumph is simply overlooked or unnoticed, because men do not expect it or know to look for it."

"The truth of your actions doesn't forgive betrayal in them."

REVIEW: THE LAST TIME WE SAY GOODBYE BY CYNTHIA HAND.

Title: The Last Time We Say Goodbye
Series: Standalone
Author: Cynthia Hand
Edition: Kindle (eARC)
Publication: HarperTeen / February 10, 2015
Source: eARC provided by the publisher though Edelweiss
Pages: 400
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary (Mental Illness), Romance
Trailer: Not available.

Synopsis:

There's death all around us.
We just don't pay attention.
Until we do.

The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment.

Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be.

As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone-a text Tyler sent, that could have changed everything.

Lex's brother is gone. But Lex is about to discover that a ghost doesn't have to be real to keep you from moving on.

From New York Times bestselling author Cynthia Hand, The Last Time We Say Goodbye is a gorgeous and heart-wrenching story of love, loss, and letting go.

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The last time I cried (really, really cried, like the ugly sobbing kind) was when I watched The Fault in Our Stars. I remember feeling so tired and empty after. There's this weird feeling in my chest, it was like my entire chest cavity was stuffed with cotton. I couldn't breathe well, I just stared at nothing for God knows how long and the pain lingered. It was like something in me died. After the movie, the only word that came out of my mouth was "beautiful" and I apparently, I kept saying it over and over. I thought nothing could top that raw emotion because it felt real to me. Only, I was so, so wrong. After I read The Last Time We Say Goodbye, I felt everything again. This time, the pain was almost unbearable. And the ugly sobbing lasted an entire night.

It is always a good thing when you let books surprise you. As usual, I didn't know anything about this book aside from it's contemporary, that Epic Reads said it was good and that Cynthia Hand wrote it. This is my second Hand book, I absolutely enjoyed Unearthly. The Last Time We Say Goodbye magnified every single feels I never thought I would have towards a book. The story was well-written, the twists were plotted amazingly and placed at the right timing, the pacing was perfect, the characters were captivating. This book is so perfect I couldn't tell you how much I love every bit of it.

The Last Time We Say Goodbye encapsulates so many things: hate, pain, loss, hope, forgiveness and healing among other things. Its words act as a double-edged sword, you slice your heart page by page until tears is the only thing you know. Though it didn't focus much on how the loss part happened, it expounds the gravity of grief and regret. Its take on realities such as divorce and suicide is something that would leave a mark in your heart. The honesty of it, of how people deal with horrible situations, of how we could possibly cope with such was so compelling I can't find the perfect word to describe it. Am not saying it is amazing to go through this emotional and bumpy ride but this story is just simply unbelievably good. Our ability to see hope in amid of hopelessness is incredibly highlighted and our capability to feel in amid of numbness is amazingly crafted. This story is a story of regret that most of us hold on to, it is a story of healing that most of us long for and it is a story of undying love, a proof that "the people we love are never truly gone."

*cue tears.*

The Last Time We Say Goodbye is packed with heightened sense of grief. Not only immensely emotional, but it is thoroughly sensitizing and absolutely moving.

Thank you HarperCollins International for the eARC!

"Then he said, “All the best things are like that, though, Lex, the most beautiful things. Part of the beauty comes from the fact that they’re short-lived.” He picked up a bouquet of deep-red roses, held it out to me. “These will never be as beautiful as they are at this moment, so we have to enjoy them now.”"

"..because we hurt too much to forget."

"There's death all around us. Everywhere we look. 1.8 people kill themselves every second. We just don't pay attention. Until we do."

"..but you never know when it's going to be the last time. That you hug someone. That you kiss. That you say goodbye."

"Don’t cry any more tears over me, Ash. I’m not worth it. But I want you to know, in case I ever do give you this letter and you read it first before you burn it or something, that for just a little while, you made me feel like I was really alive. Like I was special. Thanks for that. Thanks for picking me to be the one who got to stand in your sunshine for a while. I’ll carry that around with me for the rest of my life—that you saw enough good in me that you wanted to hold my hand and kiss me and smile at me like I was the only guy. Be happy."

REVIEW: GOLDEN SON BY PIERCE BROWN.

Title: Golden Son
Author: Pierce Brown
Series: Red Rising #2
Edition: Kindle
Publication:  January 6, 2015 by Del Rey (Random House)
Source: eARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
Pages: 400
Genre: Dystopia, Sci-Fi

Synopsis:

With shades of The Hunger Games, Ender’s Game, and Game of Thrones, debut author Pierce Brown’s genre-defying epic Red Rising hit the ground running and wasted no time becoming a sensation.

Golden Son continues the stunning saga of Darrow, a rebel forged by tragedy, battling to lead his oppressed people to freedom from the overlords of a brutal elitist future built on lies. Now fully embedded among the Gold ruling class, Darrow continues his work to bring down Society from within.

A life-or-death tale of vengeance with an unforgettable hero at its heart, Golden Son guarantees Pierce Brown’s continuing status as one of fiction’s most exciting new voices.

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Oh, boy. This is going to be a long one.

If you loved Red Rising and can think of a word better than love, then that's what I feel for Golden Son. Afraid it may fall under the Middle Book Syndrome? As early as now, listen to me. It is not even close to any syndrome known to middle books because when it comes to this series, Golden Son is waaaaaaaaaaay even better than the first. It surpassed whatever standards Red Rising set. You know, with flying colors.

Golden Son took off years after Darrow succeeded in the Institute. Left in the dark by the Sons, he has to find a way to make the cause work on his own. Together with his Peerless Scarred friends, he stretches all of what's left of him to pursue what Eo wanted him to do -- break the chains and live for more. In his saga to conspiring civil war against Octavia, betrayal and loss await him. He has to brave what lies ahead, whatever the cost maybe. One thing which conflicts him though, some Golds are more than their color.

I read Golden Son slowly. Like, I was torturing myself in the slowest way possible. I need to take breaks every chapter to tweet, breathe, pull my hair and be prepared for what the next page will bring. It makes breathing so hard and I mean this literally. Like, every page makes me dread for all of the characters I fell in love with because Golden Son was surely full of unwavering surprises. Surprises beyond what one could have anticipated. I took my time (and when I say time, it means weeks) because savoring each fantastically crafted scenes would just leave you breathless. I hyperventilated, palpitated and didn't sleep because aside from this book is unputdownable, the suspense, gore and politics are amazingly plotted and well-executed.

Golden Son wasn't what I expected it to be. Golden Son, with all the innards flying across the battle field, skyrocketed my expectations. It is true that I loved Pierce Brown even before I read Red Rising but this book made me love him harder. Not only that, the respect I have for him rooted deeper. His work, this work, this is a masterpiece. Nothing to compare it to. Absolutely shocking, stunning, breaking. Brown owned it as if there isn't any book written under the genre. His voice, style, personality and love for his work all showed in the story. Here I get to appreciate the dedication and passion Brown has for his craft. Written magnificently, Golden Son is one book to look forward to.. one book worth bragging about.. a book worth sharing to the world.

Brown honed his writing thoroughly. I was annoyed by how much "bloodydamns" I've seen on Red Rising but here, I understood its importance. The sequence of events, despite the time set in between, is utterly seamless. Character development, I kid you not, justifies the different personalities, motives and approach. Brown made sure that his characters developed fully to portray each roles with such intensity and perfection.

Darrow embraced the life of a Gold in such humbling way. Despite the ups and downs in his life, the power in his hands, he's not afraid to show vulnerability. He still gets scared and the pain he endures every time a life is lost, makes him a great protagonist. His ability to be a warrior and his strategic planet-invasion planning aren't only his strength, but he draws it from his friends. He knows when to be a smartass and when to be emotional. In the middle of betrayal and loss, the heart of the Golden Son shone brighter, felt tender, loved deeper. It was unbelievable that such mighty and god-like characters like Darrow, Augustus and Sevro (I love you, Sevro) could still have raw emotions.

The curves of the story almost drove me mad. With exhilarating anticipation for the twists to unfold, I was left paralyzed. Nothing could have warned me enough on what state my heart would be at. I was crushed, devastated, shattered over and over yet each pain made me fall in love deeper. I was brutally damaged after Golden Son. I will never be the same, ever again. Ever.

Intoxicating and nerve-wracking, Golden Son brings full blast of action and suspense that will leave you grasping for air. With a remarkable plot and shocking ending, Book 3 couldn't be here fast enough. It holds love, loss and vengeance in its center that if this incredibly phenomenal sequel will not break you, I don't know what else will.

Thank you Random House and Netgalley for the eARC!

"It's not victory that makes a man, It's his defeats."

 "What scraps you have been given by your betters, cherish. What favor you curried, remember."

"Everyone's honest till they're caught in a lie."

"We're all just wounded souls stumbling about in the dark, desperately trying to stitch ourselves together, hoping to fill the holes they ripped in us."

""Feels good. That's how I know it's right, Reap. Despite all this shit. It feels good in here." He taps his thin chest. "It feels... how do you say.. bloodydamn good.""

"My name has nothing to do with who I am."

"One word shatters a thousand lies."

REVIEW: HEIR OF FIRE BY SARAH J. MAAS.

Title: Heir of Fire (Throne of Glass #3)
Author: Sarah J. Maas
Edition: Hard Bound
Published: September 2, 2014
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Pages: 565
Source: Bought from Fullybooked
Category: High Fantasy, Romance
Trailer: Not Applicable.

Synopsis:

Lost and broken, Celaena Sardothien’s only thought is to avenge the savage death of her dearest friend: as the King of Adarlan’s Assassin, she is bound to serve this tyrant, but he will pay for what he did. Any hope Celaena has of destroying the king lies in answers to be found in Wendlyn. Sacrificing his future, Chaol, the Captain of the King’s Guard, has sent Celaena there to protect her, but her darkest demons lay in that same place. If she can overcome them, she will be Adarlan’s biggest threat – and his own toughest enemy.

While Celaena learns of her true destiny, and the eyes of Erilea are on Wendlyn, a brutal and beastly force is preparing to take to the skies. Will Celaena find the strength not only to win her own battles, but to fight a war that could pit her loyalties to her own people against those she has grown to love?

No. There isn't a decent introductory paragraph I could think of to start up this review. There is simply none. No right words. None.

It has been a few days now since I finished reading Heir of Fire and as imminent as it could be, am book hungover. TOTALLY BOOK HUNGOVER. I was originally on a horrible reading/blogging slump but WHO WOULD PASS UP GETTING HEIR OF FIRE? I waited so long for this to be published! I got it a week ago and started reading it, but I read it slowly. I don't think a 565-page book should be read in one sitting. I do not think it is advisable to read Heir of Fire in one sitting, for that matter. It should be read slowly, so that you can savor each word. Because that's what I did. If I read it in my normal reading pace, I would have gotten bored. I would have been annoyed by how slow it was. Knowing how easily I get irritated with slow paced stories, I would have DNF-ed this. BUT THIS IS HEIR OF FIRE and there is a special way of reading it.

Heir of Fire is completely different from the rest of the series. I guess each book stands out on different lights. I love how fluid the consistency of the story through each book has been and yet still made each read a totally different kind of adventure. In Heir of Fire, Celaena's assassin skills didn't float much but her Fae side did -- that one side of Celaena I've been thrilled to know about. Up until the middle part of the book, I was expecting that her full blown power would be shown in the fourth book, but what do you know, Maas surely knows how to make awesome surprises. I absolutely loved how Celaena figured everything out at the end that it made my love for her stronger. THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD HAVE GUESSED WHAT SHE FIGURED OUT. The way she connected simple things in the book that I ignore most of the time is remarkable. I don't know how she does it but hell yeah, she's awesome in a lot of ways and dude, she has the 'right' to be arrogant because why not. She has it all and she has proven herself over and over again. And honestly? I missed her being that way because am slowly seeing her "soft side".

I've read most people were expecting much of Chaol and Celaena. I love them together, don't get me wrong but I kinda liked how Maas focused on the growth of each character independently. They value each other the same way but I liked seeing each one of them think, feel and decide on their own, you know, without physically influencing each other. In this way, I got to know them a little bit deeper, not how they would act as a person when Celaena is around. Yes, I liked that fact very much. Also, the new characters Maas introduced namely ROWAN WHITETHORN and MANON BLACKBEAK blew my mind to scraps. Man, they were so kickass! I think I should make a separate review for these characters alone because I have so much to say! I couldn't ask for anything more, really. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE HEIR OF FIRE. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!

Heir of Fire is absolutely worth waiting for. If it takes another year for Book 4 to be published, I will wait with all my heart. Maas' wrote another phenomenal story with such amazing structure that never misses to surprise me. It is mysterious, brilliant and thrilling. Hands down to you, Maas! Another job well done! And I will follow the Throne of Glass series, to whatever end..

"She was the heir of ash and fire, and she would bow to no one."

"You cannot pick and choose what parts of her to love."

"You didn't need a weapon at all when you were born one."

"She was still on the fall down. There was no getting up, because there was no bottom."

Yeap. She's fully tabbed!

REVIEW: MONSTROUS BEAUTY BY ELIZABETH FAMA.

Title: Monstrous Beauty
Author: Elizabeth Fama
Edition: Paperback
Published: September 4, 2012
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)/Square Fish
Pages: 352
Source: Bought from Fullybooked, Fort
Category: Paranormal, Romance, Fantasy
Trailer: not available.

Synopsis:

Fierce, seductive mermaid Syrenka falls in love with Ezra, a young naturalist. When she abandons her life underwater for a chance at happiness on land, she is unaware that this decision comes with horrific and deadly consequences.

Almost one hundred forty years later, seventeen-year-old Hester meets a mysterious stranger named Ezra and feels overwhelmingly, inexplicably drawn to him. For generations, love has resulted in death for the women in her family. Is it an undiagnosed genetic defect . . . or a curse? With Ezra’s help, Hester investigates her family’s strange, sad history. The answers she seeks are waiting in the graveyard, the crypt, and at the bottom of the ocean—but powerful forces will do anything to keep her from uncovering her connection to Syrenka and to the tragedy of so long ago.

Captured by the beauty of the cover, Monstrous Beauty gave me an emotional wreckage worse than my previous reads had put me through. I wasn't surprised at all by the colorful world of it because friends babbling about it nonstop when I told them I wanted to buy a copy. It was the unexplainable sensation put together that bombarded me most. Monstrous Beauty can be summed up in two perspectives: beautiful inside and out and love is the powerful magic of all.

Looking at the cover of this magnificent book on Goodreads and on Instagram, I’ve always marveled by how pretty it truly is. The moment I touched the cover, I knew, pictures didn't do it justice. One can say it is something plain but the amazing typography alone is mesmerizing. Add to it the soft flow of the mysterious woman's hair in water is just absolutely stunning. Then the feel of it. The feel of the cover is therapeutic. Comforting to the eyes, challenging to the mind, penetrating to the heart.

Monstrous Beauty is more than the eyes meet. The simple yet fantastic world building set in a small town, down to the breathtaking underwater empire is mind-blowing. From a modern world we know it today, I didn't expect that I would be totally blown away by how magnificent Fama wrote this. Her version of an old mermaid tale surely set my mermaid story standards to a whole new level. The beauty of the sea can be frightening yet it can transform one's weary soul to a blissful one. Images of different sea creatures flooded my mind faster than I intended it to be because the creatures in this story are foreign to me. Fama embraced her characters and made them her own. The danger she mixed with the beauty made the sea very much intoxicating. It was everything a reader can ever hoped for.

The discovery of an ancient dark secret and ancestral history is my second favorite aspect of Monstrous Beauty. How everything is intertwined smoothly without any single flaw deserves a round of applause. Goosebumps every page turn, sweat on my forehead and fast heartbeats are my companions while reading. How brilliantly the plot was dissected to bring unraveling emotions to the reader was phenomenal. Fama gave her readers a wonderful story and the way she wrote it is lyrical to me. Very crisp, very detailed. Mind and heart blowing, indeed.

My number one favorite aspect of Monstrous Beauty is of course, THE love story. The plot is remarkable. From the smallest decision to not conceive, all the way down to a vast discovery of a curse, sure did wonders to my mind and heart. Hester is brave enough to face the unknown on her own and the pain she has to go through? Indescribable. I’m so glad she has Peter.

“Let me stay a little longer, Hester.” This line. This is the culprit of why my heart is bleeding so bad. I think this is how it feels like to have a massacred heart. Ezra, after being pinned for more than a hundred years, asked Hester for more time to be with her before she unpins him. His character is the literal meaning of “forever is not enough”. Even through the tragedy he and Syrenka experienced in their first life together, he still loved her so dearly he’s willing to sacrifice one more time for her. This, for me, is a modern take (and much painful version) of Romeo and Juliet. Ezra is a character of nobility and embodies true love that he’s proven no amount of time can ever make him stop loving Syrenka. His love is so tender and pure than even curse couldn’t stop him. By remembering his character right now while I am typing this, I couldn’t help but sob and wail because the rawness of the pain I have for him is real. He is stunning, heroic, one of a kind, gentle and loving. I will wallow with him in this tragedy.

Monstrous Beauty is a story of eternal love, magic and tragedy mixed beautifully. It is one of the so many astounding novels ever written. Thrilling, mystifying and excruciating to the heart, Monstrous Beauty brings the kind of love that will haunt and torment you. This is a book that will change you forever.

"The more she loved, the more she ached."

"It's bittersweet, isn't it," he murmured.
"What does that mean?"

"Being together, but not being together."

"We are meant to be together, Hester. I knew it when I first saw you [...]. Until then I have been sleepwalking through a miserable existence. And then with no warning you were there -- I still don't understand how it's possible -- and I couldn't believe my luck. I couldn't bear it that you walked away before you discovered it yourself."

 "Let me stay a little bit longer, Hester."

BLOG TOUR (14): WINGS BY ELIZABETH RICHARDS + INTL GIVEAWAY.

I simply could not believe that another fantastic series is about to end. Here I am, reviewing an awesome Advance Reader's Copy of a book I seriously don't want to end yet want to have. The struggle of saying goodbye and devouring this book all at once was pretty hard core because well, I want to claim that I've seen this series from the beginning. It is truly one of those series that is so dear to my heart. Thank you Elizabeth for allowing me to tour all three books here in the Philippines. Your books are not only beautifully created but your generosity and kindness struck me hard. *wipes tears* I will never say good bye to Black City because it holds a part of me and recommending it wouldn't do it justice.

Title: Wings (Black City #3)
Author: Elizabeth Richards
Edition: Paperback
Published: June 12, 2014
Publisher: Putnam/Penguin Teen
Pages: 382
Source: ARC provided by the Author
Category: Paranormal, Romance, Dystopia
Trailer: Here

Synopsis:

Following the cliffhanger ending of Phoenix, Natalie finds herself separated from Ash and unexpectedly reunited with her parents, including the father she thought was dead. But she can only think of Ash. She hasn't heard a word of him since she and Elijah were brought to the underground headquarters of the Sentry Rebellion. But she vows to find him.

Ash, meanwhile is back in Black City; it's the perfect place to hide from the Sentry government. But not for long. He won't give up on Natalie or bringing an end to the terrible reign of Purian Rose.

A pulse-racing end to an exciting series.

**JUST LITTLE SPOILERS**

Phoenix, the sequel to Black City, left me so broken I thought I will never recover. Not only the cliffhanger ending did serious damage, but the entirety of the story did it. It left me with serious book hangover for weeks and I kept catching myself staring at nothing wondering what the book did to me. After a year of waiting for Wings, here I am again, lost for words. I got damaged for the second time. You know what they say about love being sweeter the second time around? Well, pain is horrible the second time around. No kidding.

Wings started off stronger that I had anticipated. I was introduced to a new character who sounded so familiar yet I couldn't put a finger to it. The war is still on going and Nat and Ash's determination to put down Purian Rose transitioned smoothly. I thought I would have to skim through Phoenix because I've partly forgotten what transpired but Richards did a remarkable job in incorporating small details from Black City and Phoenix so the reader could remember. The events were consistent and I honestly didn't find any loopholes. At first I was like, "here we go again, the teens will save the world when the adults couldn't". I always have this notation in my head when I read Young Adult Dystopia or Paranormal genres. But with Wings, I wasn't disappointed. Each character, especially the adults, did a lot of "saving" and the young protagonists were only highlighted because the point of views are their voices. I was amazed how no one was left out and each of them have seriously wicked vital roles. Yes, everyone was given fair chances to share their histories or even their current contribution to the story. The book is three hundred plus pages but I just couldn't get enough. I want more. I want more Ash. I want more Edmund. I want more Black City. The pacing is just the perfect blend and honestly? There were no dull moments. Each chapter produced the right amount of adrenaline rush so you can go and read the next one immediately. Wings is undoubtedly one of the unputdownable books I've read this year. Even if it is the conclusion to a series so close to my heart, I want to devour it in one sitting yet slowly take everything in at the same time. If that even makes sense.

In Wings, I learned to love and forgive Purian Rose. Yes, I did. Unbelievable really. He's one of the villains I hated so much to the extent I wished him tortured twenty times over. Wings is partly about the war the Darklings are fighting for and partly about Nat and Ash's romance. In my opinion, it is mainly about Purian Rose's past. How he truly became the meanest, soulless and heartless antagonist we've all learned to hate. I would have to leave it at that because this review will turn to be too spoilery if I try to explain why I said that. But his past pinched and took a small part of my heart I didn't know I could give him. His character was clouded with and blinded by misinterpretation, pain and environment's morbid influence. He was just a young boy who fell in love and .... But still, he didn't have the right to do all those hideous things he did. But honestly, Purian Rose's background put a stunning spark in Wings.

Richards might have planned it during her outlining/plotting days, but I wasn't prepared for the shocking pain waves I received while reading Wings. I felt like every flip of each page I would lose a limb. The revelation and the magnitude of loss left me astounded with awe, pain, mostly pain, whys and nos. There were definitely screaming in between and tsunami tears. The rawness of it all brought so much emotion that I had to pause reading for a few hours just to breathe. It was that intense. I also wasn't kidding when I said "magnitude" of loss. It wasn't only one or two but multiple characters gave up lives to help with Ash's cause for the Darklings. That alone not only took me by surprise but caused ugly tears to flood my face. The pain felt like someone's aiming my heart and stabbed it with a machete or something over and over again.

Wings is the perfect conclusion to such amazing series. I will never have sufficient adjectives to describe how Wings gave euphoria and all sorts of unnamed emotions to me. Highly fitting to be the last installment (because there is nothing that would top this), every fiber of Wings suited the need for answers and satiated the cravings for action. Gripping with blood and vengeance, Wings turns out to be the key to all the madness. Treacherous, dangerous and brutal it may appear but Wings is by far the best part of the series. Breath taking and breath stopping altogether!

Again, thank you Liz for sending this in for review/tour! Love, love!

"But the Darklings are different. They don't just kill you, they play with you first. They drug you, make you think you are in love with them, so you willingly let them feed on you, until there's nothing left of you but an empty shell. It's sick."

"It's easy to hate. The truest test of our hearts is to forgive."

"Forgiveness is the only way you will ever find peace."

If you want to check the blog tour, just visit #WingPHBlogTour on Twitter or Facebook!

And that is not all!! We are giving away awesome stuff!!

Check this out!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

THANK YOU SO MUCH ELIZABETH RICHARDS FOR MAKING THIS TOUR POSSIBLE AND TO ALL #BlackCityPHTour , #PhoenixPHTour and #WngsPHBlogTour PARTICIPANTS!! THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!! *wipes ugly tears*