REVIEW: FOREST OF A THOUSAND LANTERNS BY JULIE C. DAO.

Title: Forest of a Thousand Lanterns
Author: Julie C. Dao
Series: Rise of the Empress #1
Edition: Paperback
Publication: October 10th 2017 by Philomel Books
Source: ARC provided by the publisher
Pages: 384
Genre: High-Fantasy, Retellings

Synopsis:
An East Asian fantasy reimagining of The Evil Queen legend about one peasant girl's quest to become Empress--and the darkness she must unleash to achieve her destiny.

Eighteen-year-old Xifeng is beautiful. The stars say she is destined for greatness, that she is meant to be Empress of Feng Lu. But only if she embraces the darkness within her. Growing up as a peasant in a forgotten village on the edge of the map, Xifeng longs to fulfill the destiny promised to her by her cruel aunt, the witch Guma, who has read the cards and seen glimmers of Xifeng's majestic future. But is the price of the throne too high?

Because in order to achieve greatness, she must spurn the young man who loves her and exploit the callous magic that runs through her veins--sorcery fueled by eating the hearts of the recently killed. For the god who has sent her on this journey will not be satisfied until his power is absolute.

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ISBN13: 9781524738297

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Based on my reading experience, it's been tricky for me to delve into retellings with so much anticipation because it could be such a hit or a miss kind of read. Going in practically blind, the first half of Forest of a Thousand Lanterns* didn't grasp me. It was a bit slow because this the part where the build-ups happened and I felt like there are plenty of descriptions or scenes unfolding that are all unnecessary. But I took my time and kept reading.

This book is going to hit shelves October this year and I have a lot of things to say about it. First off is that I. FREAKING. LOVED. IT!!! It was absolutely epic! The second half of the book was just entirely opposite of the first because this part was where all THE things happened. I started reading it around five in the afternoon and I literally wasn't able to put it down until I devoured it around midnight! The pacing shifted and there were a lot of pillow-punching and screaming happened. It kept me on the edge because of all the scheming and revelations! It was brutal, intriguing and mind-blowing.

I know it's a MULAN gif but it's the closest I could find hihih

Forest of a Thousand Lanterns gave us a totally amazing retelling of the Evil Queen. Xifeng was abused by her Guma all her life but trained her to go after her great destiny: to be the Empress of Feng Lu. She's beautiful and she knows it's her weapon. She also knows something evil is inside her, conniving and wanting to control her. But the urge to go after what she was destined to is strong so she left Guma and went with the love of her life, Wei, to the Imperial Castle. Nothing stopped her in getting what she wanted. Her character was just so broken and greedy her need to be powerful exceeds her need to be saved. But despite the darkness lurking inside her waiting to be released, I adored her focus and her determination to lift herself up and become not only the fairest but the most powerful. There's no way you would be able to say that something else made her the villain because from the start, it was all her. She embraced it without seconds thoughts. The moments she was at war with herself were all lost battles because deep inside her, she knew what she wanted. Even Guma's confessions didn't stop her. It was a very dark story of a beautiful girl wanting the world kneeling in front of her.

The world building set in East Asia was phenomenal. This was one aspect I was so excited to learn about and it did not disappoint. In fact, it was everything I hoped it would be. Rich, delicious and absolutely a masterpiece.

Forest of a Thousand Lanterns is one heck of a debut novel I will forever remember. Bloody, lyrical and luscious, this well-delivered Evil Queen back story is the one you have all been waiting for! I can promise you that it is glorious!

*Let me know if you did cry because of the title.

Thank you so much, Penguin Random House International Sales, for sending me the ARC months in advance!

"Isn’t’ it better to give up a fraction of your freedom to gain tenfold in happiness, even for a short time?"

REVIEW: THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END BY ADAM SILVERA.

Title: They Both Die at the End
Author: Adam Silvera
Series: Standalone
Edition: Kindle
Publication: September 5th 2017 by HarperTeen
Source: eARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss
Pages: 384
Genre: Contemporary, M/M, LGBTQPIA+, Romance

Synopsis:
On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They're going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they're both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There's an app for that. It's called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure and to live a lifetime in a single day.

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I am a huge mess right now! I have been pacing back and forth and I just cannot wrap my mind around how gooooood this book is! It is definitely one of the best books of the year! This is my second Silvera book and HE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!

LIKE WTH JUST HAPPENED? My heart is racing right now because this book gave me so many things at once. There is the beauty of knowing you have one last day to live so you get the chance to literally live it to the fullest, there's the chance of becoming the person you always wanna be even for just a day, there's the ability to say proper goodbyes to people who meant so much to you and there's this opportunity for you to touch people's lives in more meaningful ways. You get to live the next several hours left pushing past your boundaries and making the most out of it without the fear of regrets later. I mean, if that's not beautiful, I don't know what is! What happened to Rufus and Mateo is etched in my heart so so deeply that it pushes me to get out of my comfort zone. This story just pushed me so hard that now I want to be out there leaving marks.

Mateo and Rufus' story is absolutely one story that will leave you on edge and holding your breath. The anticipation is so high I am both nervous and scared. Once you read it, it stays in your system and I swear, I would babble about this one for a long, long time. Their friendship breaks the stereotype that you have to know a person this long in order to build trust and all that bullshit because M and R had a day and theirs had even more history than some of my friendships combined. It's so special, nurturing, welcoming and free. I want more friendships like this.

They way the story was told is another thing that blows my mind. It's an alternating POV between M and R and several more surprise POVs which soooo kickass because of how they are interrelated. Words are failing me right now but this damn book should be made in to a movie and I wanna see this Number #1 in NYT BestSellers List because THIS IS ONE HELL OF A GRIPPING BOOK I WILL FOREVER BOOK PUSH TO YOU ALL. (That is if you aren't convinced yet that Silvera delivers, but I know you are BECAUSE THIS IS ADAM SILVERA, PEOPLE)

I think Adam is really the Evil Queen in disguise. He loves ripping our hearts out and enjoys swimming in his reader's tears.

They Both Die at the End is one of those books that will change you because you certainly won't be the same person after reading. A gripping story of two lives crossing paths at the very end, it all in all teaches you to live to the fullest, love hardcore and seize every fucking moment as if every day is your last day.

Thank you HarperCollins International for the eARC!

"But no matter what choices we make - solo or together - our finish line remains the same … No matter how we choose to live, we both die at the end."

"Entire lives aren't lessons, but there are lessons in lives."

"Maybe it's better to have gotten it right and been happy for one day instead of living a lifetime of wrongs."

"People have their time stamps on how long you should know someone before earning the right to say it, but I wouldn't like to you no matter how little time we have. People waste time and wait for the right moment and we don't have that luxury. If we had our entire lives ahead of us I bet you'd get tired of me telling you how much I love you because I'm positive that's thepath we were heading on. But because we're about to die, I want to say it as many times as I want--I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

REVIEW: THAT THING WE CALL A HEART BY SHEBA KARIM.

Title: That Thing We Call a Heart
Author: Sheba Karim
Series: Standalone
Edition: Paperback
Publication: May 9th 2017 by HarperTeen
Source: ARC provided by the publisher
Pages: 288
Category: Contemporary

Synopsis:
Shabnam Qureshi is a funny, imaginative Pakistani-American teen attending a tony private school in suburban New Jersey. When her feisty best friend, Farah, starts wearing the headscarf without even consulting her, it begins to unravel their friendship. After telling a huge lie about a tragedy that happened to her family during the Partition of India in 1947, Shabnam is ready for high school to end. She faces a summer of boredom and regret, but she has a plan: Get through the summer. Get to college. Don’t look back. Begin anew.

Everything changes when she meets Jamie, who scores her a job at his aunt’s pie shack, and meets her there every afternoon. Shabnam begins to see Jamie and herself like the rose and the nightingale of classic Urdu poetry, which, according to her father, is the ultimate language of desire. Jamie finds Shabnam fascinating—her curls, her culture, her awkwardness. Shabnam finds herself falling in love, but Farah finds Jamie worrying.

With Farah’s help, Shabnam uncovers the truth about Jamie, about herself, and what really happened during Partition. As she rebuilds her friendship with Farah and grows closer to her parents, Shabnam learns powerful lessons about the importance of love, in all of its forms.

Featuring complex, Muslim-American characters who defy conventional stereotypes and set against a backdrop of Radiohead’s music and the evocative metaphors of Urdu poetry, THAT THING WE CALL A HEART is a honest, moving story of a young woman's explorations of first love, sexuality, desire, self-worth, her relationship with her parents, the value of friendship, and what it means to be true.

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That Thing We Call a Heart is a book I absolutely enjoyed. Here I was able to meet two amazing Muslim-American characters who have one thing in common: their friendship. Shabnam is the hopeless romantic in the duo while Farah is the rational and more adventurous one. What I adored in these two characters was the friendship dynamics we don't get to always see in books. How Shabnam felt excluded when Farah decided to wear a headscarf while Farah felt rejected by bestfriend because of her decision. I don't encounter these things all the time and it's amazing to feel enlighted about how other cultures value their traditions. Their friendship was bridged by their love for each other and I am so glad they made their differences work for them.

The book showcases a glimpse of how rich Pakistani culture is. One part of it is the Urdu Poems! They are so beautiful I kept reading the verses over and over. It isn't just romantic but the depth/technicalities of it are breathtaking. But it truly broke my heart when Shabnam made one but only to find out that the person didn't deserve it. Because damn, that was a knife in the heart. I was also starting to fall in love with Jamie in this story because his character was so well-intentioned at first. But sometimes, even being well-intentioned is just a facade.

The family dynamics also had me hooked. Shabnam's dad is the type who could care less (he's just really not that good in expressing himself) and the mother is the sentimental type and cares too much (which is what moms do). I hated how Shabnam treated her mother because Muslim or not, it was just an awful thing to scream at your mom. But she tried to make up for it and I am absolutely touched by how little things started changing for them at the end.

That Thing We Call a Heart is a story of discoveries you'll gladly follow along with. Enjoyable yet heartbreaking at times, this book knows it's ways to the heart.

Thank you so much, HarperCollins International Sales for the ARC!

"It's easy when you're climbing something. Don't look down, or even too far ahead. Focus on where you are in that moment."

REVIEW: ALWAYS AND FOREVER, LARA JEAN BY JENNY HAN.

Title: Always and Forever, Lara Jean
Author: Jenny Han
Series: To All the Boys I've Loved Before #3
Edition: Hardbound
Publication: May 2nd 2017 by Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Source: Bought from National Bookstore
Pages: 336
Genre: Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Romance, Chick-Lit

Synopsis:
Lara Jean’s letter-writing days aren’t over in this surprise follow-up to the New York Times bestselling To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and P.S. I Still Love You.

Lara Jean is having the best senior year a girl could ever hope for. She is head over heels in love with her boyfriend, Peter; her dad’s finally getting remarried to their next door neighbor, Ms. Rothschild; and Margot’s coming home for the summer just in time for the wedding.

But change is looming on the horizon. And while Lara Jean is having fun and keeping busy helping plan her father’s wedding, she can’t ignore the big life decisions she has to make. Most pressingly, where she wants to go to college and what that means for her relationship with Peter. She watched her sister Margot go through these growing pains. Now Lara Jean’s the one who’ll be graduating high school and leaving for college and leaving her family—and possibly the boy she loves—behind.

When your heart and your head are saying two different things, which one should you listen to?

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Always and Forever, Lara Jean is a suprise follow-up book for the To All the Boys I've Loved Before series. It wasn't supposed to come out but Jenny Han loves her readers she gifted us another one that we will treasure forever. However, I think PS was the perfect ending.

I am thankful that I get to spend so much time with Peter K in this book and we get to see old characters again. But since I marathon-ed the books, the gap between PS and Always is so obvious I felt like I was reading a totally different series. I felt it. And half of the book kind of dragged for me. It was just so fortunate that Peter K's retorts made me laugh and love him even more.

The last seventy pages shattered me. I wasn't expecting it to be this raw and I felt so much pain for myself and for Peter. He didn't deserve that treatment, no he did not. He's worth it too just like Lara Jean and I couldn't help but shed a tear or two because damn heartache is real.

Also, I am going to miss Stormy.

Always and Forever, Lara Jean is best read if you miss the characters so badly. This series just became one of my favorite series of all time and thank you, Jenny for making me love the entire cast even more. Bittersweet ending, I know I wouldn't be able to say goodbye just yet. I keep making up stories in my head because I NEED A BOOK IN PETER K'S POV!

Other posts you might also want to check out:

To All The Boys I've Loved Before review

P.S. I Still Love You review

Jenny Han in PH Book Signing Event in 2014

My live tweets thread during my readthon

"Peter will love Lara Jean with all his heart, always"

"Pack light and figure the rest out as you go."

"I guess that's part of growing up, too--saying goodbye to the things you used to love."

REVIEW: P.S. I STILL LOVE YOU BY JENNY HAN.

Title: P.S. I Still Love You
Author: Jenny Han
Series: To All the Boys I've Loved Before #2
Edition: Hardbound
Publication: May 26, 2015 by Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Source: Bought from Book Outlet
Pages: 337
Genre: Contemporary, Romance, Realistic Fiction

Synopsis:
Lara Jean didn’t expect to really fall for Peter.
She and Peter were just pretending. Except suddenly they weren’t. Now Lara Jean is more confused than ever.
When another boy from her past returns to her life, Lara Jean’s feelings for him return too. Can a girl be in love with two boys at once?

In this charming and heartfelt sequel to the New York Times bestseller To All the Boys I've Loved Before, we see first love through the eyes of the unforgettable Lara Jean. Love is never easy, but maybe that’s part of what makes it so amazing.

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The first time I read To All the Boys I've Loved Before was back in 2014 and it was an underwhelming read to me. I was all hyped up about the book but then I didn't get anything from it. It was such a bummer I didn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to. Fast forward to 2017 and after re-reading it in prep for books 2 and 3, I was like, OMGGG?? WHAT WAS I THINKING BACK THEN?? WHY AM I JUST NOTICING PETER K NOWWWW? I LOVED IT SO SO MUCH?? The experience this time was absolutely different I still feel my heart go wild whenever think about this book! Like, I couldn't believe my review back then. PETER K LEGIT CAPTURED MY HEART AND GOD DAMN IT, I AM SO EXTREMELY JOYFUL TO HAVE MET LARA JEAN AND PETER K THE SECOND TIME AROUND!

I have so many feelings and thoughts about PS I Still Love You I can't map them all out properly. Just like TATBILB did to me, I am a huge mess right now. THIS BOOK IS PERFECTION. A quick read but packed with everything I needed in a story. It's just amazing to see how much a book can do damage to your well-being (in a good bookish way).

PSISLY isn't what I can put in the Middle Book Syndrome List. It's one of the best sophomore books I've read in a while and it just makes me so happy that I loved it. The amount of awww, oh, and OMG expressions I've uttered while reading blew me away because this one is THAT good. But there are just some points I didn't understand (but didn't make me love this any less)

- How can Peter let Gen manipulate him?
- How can he let her get away with everything when he says he is over her?
- How can he put Lara Jean in a position where she feels she's just his option? (LIKE, REALLY, PETER K?)
- How can Lara Jean not trust her get and still believes nothing is going on between Peter and Geb when she saw it with her own eyes? (COME ON)
- How did Gen become the victim?
- How can Gen's manipulative and abusive behaviour not discussed and given attention to? Nothing she did is okay.

Even though I didn't get much of Peter K in this book, I appreciated Lara Jean's development here. She's not that naive anymore and she's a much better sister to Kitty in this book. Her relationship with her family is one aspect I am thrilled about and I'm absolutely happy to have been given plenty of that. I still adore Kitty so much for being a child and an adult all at the same time! You get me? She is so fierce and she made everything happen!

Jenny Han wrote the love triangle in a quirky way. I was so against it being the center of the story, I couldn't help but feel angsty towards Peter K. I do love him its just that his actions are ridiculous to me (regarding Gen). Lara Jean did put up a fight and to be honest, she made the right choice BECAUSE THAT IS THE CHOICE I WANT HAHA

P.S. Still Love You made me fall in love with Peter K harder (and Lara Jean). This story keeps making me squeal and I still have butterflies while writing my review! It is absolutely the perfect follow-up installment and man, I wish I read it sooner!

*I call this sophomore book because I read it long after Always and Forever, Lara Jean was released. This was supposed to be a duology.*

"I know now that I don’t want to love or be loved in half measures. I want it all, and to have it all, you have to risk it all."

"People come in and out of your life. For a time they are your world; they are everything. And then one day they’re not. There’s no telling how long you will have them near."

"You have to let yourself be fully present in every moment. Just be awake for it, do you know what I mean? Go all in and wring every last drop out of the experience."

"It doesn't become important until you don't have it anymore."

REVIEW: THE UPSIDE OF UNREQUITED BY BECKY ALBERTALLI.

Title: The Upside of Unrequited
Author: Becky Albertalli
Series: Standalone
Edition: Kindle
Publication: April 11th 2017 by Balzer & Bray
Source: eARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss
Pages: 336
Genre: Realistic Fiction, Romance, YA, F/F, Contemporary

Synopsis:
Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful.

Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back.

There’s only one problem: Molly’s coworker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

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The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli proves that she deserves to be in everyone's Auto-Buy Authors Lists. Simon VS set the bar quite high for me and it took a while before I joined the the fandom and it was an amazing book! I should have read it sooner!

This one filled me with extreme emotions. It resurrected my old feelings and made me love Molly so much. I was thin in high school (AND fat now) but Molly is so easy to relate to! Her voice is the kindest I've ever read and I loved it so much that she tries to think good of others all the time. Molly have also encapsulated her flaws in a way that people would be able to see themselves in and for me, Becky just represented fat people in a flawless way and I couldn't ask for anything more because Molly (I LOVE THIS GIRL), Becky (AND THIS GIRL) and Upside (AND THIS BOOK) have all star qualites.

Let's not forget the different types of love in this book! I have encountered M/M parents before and I think this is the first one I read F/F parents and OMG THEY ARE FABULOUS! Not only because they are F/F but because #lovewins (fuck yeah!) and Becky just gave us the perfect family! Thank you, Becky. Thank you for making the Upside world such a better place and I wanna live in it. Also, thank you for Reid's family, their circle of friends who are all equally brilliant and OMG for Cassie and Reid! Can I ask them to adopt me? PLEASE, BECKY?

Fat rep? Check.
Family dynamics? Check.
LGBTQPIA+? Check.
Mental Illness rep? Check.
So many other important things like self-worth? Check.
Fluffy romance? Cheeeeeeeeeeck.
Did I miss anything? Check. LOL

The Upside of Unrequited is a book worth picking-up and re-reading just right after. It's THE book you will easily definitely identify with and it has all the kind of feels you are thirsty for!

Thank you HarperCollins and Edelweiss for the eARC!

"ven if he likes me, I’m not sure he’d like me naked. I hate that I’m even thinking that. I hate hating my body. Actually, I don’t even hate my body. I just worry everyone else might. Because chubby girls don’t get boyfriends, and they definitely don’t have sex. Not in movies—not really—unless it’s supposed to be a joke. And I don’t want to be a joke."

"Something like that. But you know, there's an upside here. Because when you spend so much time just intensely wanting something, and then you actually get the thing? It's magic.” All of a sudden, I feel like crying. In a good way. In the best way. Because I know exactly what she means. It's butterflies and haziness and heart eyes, but underneath all that, there's this bass line of I can't believe this. I can't believe this is me. I can't quite articulate the sweetness of that feeling. It's finding out the door you were banging on is finally unlocked. Maybe it was unlocked the whole time."

REVIEW: HISTORY IS ALL YOU LEFT ME BY ADAM SILVERA.

Title: History Is All You Left Me
Author: Adam Silvera
Series: Standalone
Edition: Hardbound
Publication: January 17th 2017 by Soho Teen
Source: Finished copy sent my the publisher
Pages: 294
Genre: Young Adult, Romance, LGBTQIA+, Contemporary

Synopsis:
When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course.

To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin’s downward spiral continues. He’s losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he’s been keeping are tearing him apart.

If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life.

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ISBN: 1616956925

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I am happy to have finally found another book that rendered me speechless. Not only because of its moving prose but more importantly, because of its strong impact. KNIFE STRAIGHT TO THE HEART. History is All You Left Me is one of the important books everyone needs to read and I highly recommend this bittersweet novel to all. Adam's writing is a gift to literature, it speaks to you, it haunts you, it warms you.

Griffin, Theo and Wade make a perfect trio. Griffin's OCD didn't stop Theo from loving his bestfriend back. Instead, Theo adjusts and sees it as Griffin's special attribute. They are a happy couple that at times, they make Wade feel as the third wheel. When Theo is about to leave for college, Griffin breaks up with him thinking they would not workout, that eventually, Theo will break up with him. Theo met this beautiful guy, Jackson and they fell in love. Leaving Griffin in pain and Wade lost. Not knowing, they would lose Theo forever. The last person Griffin would go to is Jackson but their grief and love for Theo bound them. Wade was left alone dealing with his loss but love made all of them have hope at new beginnings.

I dove in to this book unprepared because this is my first Silvera book. HIAYLM is narrated by Griffin as if he's talking to Theo directly. This felt like such a personal touch to it and absolutely adored how Griffin functions. Actually, I love all the characters. Griffin, Theo, Wade and even Jackson. They have different personalities but they all have this pure love in their hearts that make them shine. These boys are written in such a way that they reflect your own emotions and I just couldn't help but drown in feels.

History is All You Left Me is perfect in unperfect ways. It welcomes, it gives, it educates.

Thank you, Penguin Random House for the review copy!

"People are complicated puzzles, always trying to piece together a complete picture, but sometimes we get it wrong and sometimes we’re left unfinished. Sometimes that’s for the best. Some pieces can’t be forced into a puzzle, or at least they shouldn’t be, because they won’t make sense."

"History is nothing. It can be recycled or thrown away completely. It isn’t this sacred treasure chest I mistook it to be. We were something, but history isn’t enough to keep something alive forever."

REVIEW: AN EMBER IN THE ASHES BY SABAA TAHIR.

Title: An Ember in the Ashes
Author: Sabaa Tahir
Series: An Ember in the Ashes #1
Edition: Paperback
Publication: February 9th 2016 by Razorbill
Source: Finished paperback copy provided by the publisher
Pages: 446
Genre: High fantasy, Romance

Synopsis:
Laia is a slave. Elias is a soldier. Neither is free.

Under the Martial Empire, defiance is met with death. Those who do not vow their blood and bodies to the Emperor risk the execution of their loved ones and the destruction of all they hold dear.

It is in this brutal world, inspired by ancient Rome, that Laia lives with her grandparents and older brother. The family ekes out an existence in the Empire’s impoverished backstreets. They do not challenge the Empire. They’ve seen what happens to those who do.

But when Laia’s brother is arrested for treason, Laia is forced to make a decision. In exchange for help from rebels who promise to rescue her brother, she will risk her life to spy for them from within the Empire’s greatest military academy.

There, Laia meets Elias, the school’s finest soldier—and secretly, its most unwilling. Elias wants only to be free of the tyranny he’s being trained to enforce. He and Laia will soon realize that their destinies are intertwined—and that their choices will change the fate of the Empire itself.

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I wasn't prepared for the brutality of this book! The Hunger Games would definitely shy away from An Ember in the Ashes! It is THAT brutal!

Loopholes, you guys. It is all about loopholes. I love that this story explored the loopholes or else, Laia would have been killed the moment she steps in to Blackcliff. I mean guys, Blackcliff is a school for assassins and Laia is just too weak to survive there. Without these loopholes, I really doubt she'd make it.

The Commandant is a cruel bitch (ugh, I want to put this bitch in a grinder or kill her with chainsaw haha), the cadets are trained to kill and are rapists, MC's situation is just as fucked up as their society's status and then just because of a sketch book, Darin's taken somewhere to be tortured. Laia is all alone without money or anything, she's not made for any of this and them kaboooom, she seeks the Resistance. Nope, she isn't lucky at all but she survives because of the loopholes. How can she possibly breakout his brother in prison when she couldn't even fight for herself, right? She's weak because she's made that way initially but as you go along the story, she develops not into an assassin but into someone she has to be - brave and hopeful. These loopholes in their lives make her surpass these life-threatening situations and escape these violent people and I love how she slowly realizes she can think and what Pops taught her are all useful in given dilemmas. She uses all the advantages she could get in order to see her mission through no matter if her life is at stake (both stupid and brave). I mean she has this eye to every small openings and she grabs them and most of the time, she gets what she wants. What I only disliked about her is her "confusion" to whom she likes most. I have nothing against love triangles but in An Ember in the Ashes, I just can't take that she had the guts to even glimpse at this part when she has to basically prioritize her brother. Oh and guys, this is only a 400 plus-page book but it would feel like you are not making a dent to what you are reading. The beginning was so brutally slow, kind of picked up in the middle then dragged its ass down again until the end. (But it will put you on the edge of your seat!)

Speaking of love triangles, I totally enjoyed the triangle between Hel, Elias and Laia (this is not even a spoiler because once you meet Hel, you'd know haha). I mean, it isn't every day we get to see this and thank the skies for Tahir for making this one enjoyable! I lovedddddd it to bits! And guys, I love Elias. I do, I absolutely do. Not just because he's the best in what he does or that Martial slash assassin vibe or that oozing appeal but because he's vulnerable. Ironic, right? Loving someone because of his vulnerability? I fell for him the way he's ready to just forget his training and everything he owns in exchange for freedom, that he remembers his kills and those memories are all associated with pain in his heart and that Blackcliff didn't completely destroy his soul. He's all these labels attached to him but his true weakness is his heart. I love you, Elias Venturias. I luuurve you you sexy vulnerable but kickass assassin you.

An Ember in the Ashes is the most brutal novel I've read this year. For fans of Red Rising and The Hunger Games, this haunting, dark and heart-wrecking novel is a must read! Buckle up for a wild ride!

Thank you so much Penguin Random House for the review copy!

"Life is made of so many moments that mean nothing. Then one day, a single moment comes along to define every second that comes after. Such moments are tests of courage, of strength."

"There are two kinds of guilt. The kind that's a burden and the kind that gives you purpose. Let your guilt be your fuel. Let it remind you of who you want to be. Draw a line in your mind. Never cross it again. You have a soul. It's damaged but it's there. Don't let them take it from you."

REVIEW: MY HEART AND OTHER BLACK HOLES BY JASMINE WARGA.

Title: My Heart and Other Black Holes
Author: Jasmine Warga
Series: Standalone
Edition: Hardcover
Publication: February 10th 2015 by HarperCollins/Balzer + Bray
Source: Bought from Fullybooked
Pages: 302
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Mental Illness, Suicide

Synopsis:
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner.

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince.

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SPOILER ALERT - SPOILER ALERT - SPOILER ALERT

Welps. This is why I don't really want to be exposed to book hypes, this is the reason why I don't want to read book reviews for those hyped ones, this is also why I don't even want to entertain bandwagons on Twitter - because I usually get disappointed with hyped books. I did enjoy this book don't get me wrong but I was like, fed lies on social media about it. Maybe I would have loved it if I wasn't exposed too much to everything about My Heart and Black Holes. I guess that's good for the book's publicity but welps, not for me sorry.

So Anika was pretty much depressed because her mother looks at her as if she's her murderer father, because she feels like the entire town sees her as a monster (because of the murder), her work and co-workers are somewhat irritated by her presence (because of the murder) and her high school treats her like shit after her dad killed the first boy who would have represented their town in the Olympics. So, okay. That was nasty shit she's going through there and I just want to hug her and reassure her that this too shall pass but I just kept reading. She's scrolling through this suicide website and she finds a partner. She's basically decided she will kill herself so she met Roman through this website and they met and dicussed their plans. They have like twenty six days (I forgot) to go before kill themselves so they can master up a plan and you know, this is a novel so there's definitely a plot twist somewhere. So in the twenty something days, ugh the cliche of all cliche happens, they started to be friends - they hang out, talk a lot, Roman introduced Anika to his mother and all that - basically Anika kind of fell in love with Roman and she decided not to kill herself anymore but to live for him *WELPS*. She has to convince Roman not to do it, like, you know, for her maybe? *WELPS WELPS* Now, I am not entirely evil so I will leave the ending for readers to figure out but if you base it on the entire plot line, you'd guess it *WELPS*

That's it. I mean, that's entirely it. I didn't cry because I wasn't that impressed. I didn't hate it too much because there are parts that honestly pinched sides of my heart but guys, I just can't take how heavily hyped this is then I get nada. It maybe also because I read a lot of suicide themed books and I got immune with the pain? Also maybe I was expecting too much because The Last Time We Say Goodbye practically set the bar too high as well? Anika is a good person and she's not her father I don't understand why she can't see it. What also happened to the visiting brother of the victim? It just disappeared like that? Grief is there, loss is there, every possible aspect that could push someone to off themselves are present but I think it focused too much on the romance aspect. Like how they filled that void up in their lives and shit, I mean, thank goodness people find other people to save them but I guess I was expecting a friendship of some sort instead of hitting it like that right away just because they are on the same boat. What about their differences then? What about things outside their goal to checkout? Would they still fall for each other? The author could have developed trust and friendship and maybe ended it with the blossoming romance? Well, am not the author haha

My Heart and Other Black Holes is a nice debut tackling such a heavy theme and nailed it. It is beautifully written no doubt but I wish there's more elaboration to it than romance. A friendship sometimes works best. Authors should try that.

"Depression is like a heaviness that you can’t ever escape. It crushes down on you, making even the smallest things like tying your shoes or chewing on toast seem like a twenty-mile hike uphill. Depression is a part of you; it’s in your bones and your blood."

"Life can seem awful and unfixable until the universe shifts a little and the observation point is altered, and then suddenly, everything seems more bearable."