BLOG TOUR REVIEW: HOW TO DISAPPEAR BY SHARON HUSS ROAT.

I would like to thank my amazing friend, Hazel of Stay Bookish, for allowing me to be a part of this blog tour! I really enjoyed How To Disappear and hopefully you would, too!

Title: How to Disappear
Author: Sharon Huss Roat
Series: Standalone
Edition: Kindle // Paperback
Publication: August 15th 2017 by HarperTeen
Source: eARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss // ARC loaned by Hazel
Pages: 384
Genre: Contemporary, Mental Illness, Romance

Synopsis:
Vicky Decker has perfected the art of hiding in plain sight, quietly navigating the halls of her high school undetected except by her best (and only) friend, Jenna. But when Jenna moves away, Vicky’s isolation becomes unbearable.

So she decides to invent a social life by Photoshopping herself into other people’s pictures, posting them on Instagram under the screen name Vicurious. Instantly, she begins to get followers, so she adds herself to more photos from all over the world with all types of people. And as Vicurious’s online followers multiply, Vicky realizes she can make a whole life for herself without ever leaving her bedroom. But the more followers she finds online, the clearer it becomes that there are a lot of people out there who feel like her— #alone and #ignored in real life.

To help them, and herself, Vicky must find the courage to face her fear of being “seen,” because only then can she stop living vicariously and truly bring the magic of Vicurious to life.

In this beautiful and illuminating narrative, Sharon Huss Roat shines a light on our love of social media and how sometimes being the person you think you want to be isn’t as great as being the person you truly are.

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Vicky is an invisible girl in her high school who is only getting through the day with the help of her best friend, Jenna. She has social anxiety and it is so hard for her to go out and be around people. Jenna moved to another state and Vicky is having a hard time adjusting to life without her. It started getting worse when Jenna butt dialed her and mentioned to her new friends that Vicky is pathetic. But Jenna dumps her but Lipton enters the picture. Vicky then started photoshopping herself in different photos and uploading them on Instagram under the handle @vicurious. This helped her find her people and it helped her a little bit to cope. She never thought she'd gain more than 2 million followers and that she'd finally be seen. She started feeling a little bit okay until Jenna texted her and implied she's suicidal.

First 50% of the book is where the build-ups happened. It was excruciating because there are moments I couldn't really understand what Vicky wants. She wanted to be seen but she's trying so hard to be invisible and she clearly shuts everyone out. It was also excruciating because I feel like it's started dragging and that I am starting to also get tired of Vicky and her mother to be honest. I powered through holding on to the fact that Lipton is there, and that I wanted to really know how the events would unfold.

I only started to connect to her through those small moments I can identify with what she's going through. It is at times frustrating but by watching her tell her story, I gained focus. It's hard when your brain is not functioning the way it's designed and it's harder when the people around you add to the pressure and keeps pointing out what is wrong with you. Vicky was alone in her battle and she's always at war with herself. I am just so glad she found her people even just from social media because I know she did feel accepted in there. I loved how her huge following didn't get to her head and that she welcomed help at the end. The most important thing is when she confronted her mother. I also felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. It was a relief and very crucial that family is there for us.

How to Disappear is a battle against invisibility, bullying, name-calling, slut-shaming, peer pressure, depression and anxiety. It is also an eye-opener for those who are clueless as to what is really happening in our heads. It implies such a strong message: You are not alone in this fight, I see you.

Thanks you Hazel and HarperCollins International for the galleys!

"I cringe at the pictures of cut marks, of blood dripping down pale arms or thighs slashed and raw. Of too-thin bodies, and mascara-stained cheeks. People are liking their photos, which feels wrong. Is that what they want--positive reinforcement of their suffering? Or maybe it's just acknowledgement. To be seen. They expose their deepest paint for a handful of little red hearts."

"Joy attracts and misery repels."

"But the kissing? This is something worth living for."