MEETING THE AUTHOR: PIERCE BROWN IN MANILA 2017.

I met Pierce Brown last August (24th) and IT WAS SOOOOOO SURREAL!! (Here's my POST about it) I wasn't able to get my Red Rising signed that time because I didn't have the hardbound copy yet so I attended his public signing last August 27th for more of Pierce!

My blogger friends and other bookish friends lined up early (they were there around 6 or 7, I arrived around 8am) so I was able to register early. I also asked JM to buy me the hardbound copy of RR the day before (it was discounted and fresh out of the box) so yaaaay for completed trilogy! We then went out for breakfast and do some catch ups!

During the registration, we were given chapter samplers of Iron Gold and I may have howled loudly when I saw it. HAHA OMG I couldn't contain the excitement! SAMPLE CHAPTERS OF IRON GOLD OMG!!!!!!

(I would also like to commend National Bookstore for the pretty MIBF tickets for this year's event!)

Kate was here.

The picture above is the amazing crowd for Pierce's signing! I was shaking and fucking nervous the entire time! I know I met him up close but damn the build up of anxiety = noodle legs. The electricity in the air was absolutely hair-raising and my cheeks hurt so much from laughing/smiling! My throat also was a little bit sore from all the screaming! HAHA I LOVE BEING A FAN OMG

My lovely bookish/blogger friends

Pierce, just like my first impression, is such a cool guys. Very opinionated and he always always knows what he's saying. He's hilarious, so gwapo and generous. He answered all the questions in ways that not only fulfilling but with passion. What I really really appreciated is that he chose to stand up so that he could easily take pictures with his readers. It was the best thing I have seen. He's is soooo freaking down to earth!

I made these 3 posters for 4 hours the night before and I was so happy Pierce got them signed. He said that it's always wonderful to see his readers make art out of his books. He also asked me which one is my fave and I told him the quote from Golden Son.

LOVE YOU, LOVE!

I just love this author to bits and I hope that no matter how big he gets, he won't forget his fans who were there from the beginning! This signing is everything I have ever hoped for and I am sooooooooooo grateful that National Bookstore brought him here. I wish I could post the vid of me shrieking, flailing and crying when I was told he'd visit (I couldn't because it was embarrassing!). This series opened up so many doors for me and helped me love Sci-Fi even more! Thanks, Pierce!

Completed Series, all signed.

National Bookstore, Chad, JB and the rest of the gang: You know how much I am forever grateful to you and your generosity. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THAT YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN AND I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET IT. SUPER THANK YOU!

Were you there at the signing? What was your favorite part?

REVIEW: ; (SEMICOLON) BY NAVEED KHAN.

Title: ; (Semicolon)
Author: Naveed A. Khan
Series: Poetry
Edition: eBook
Publication: February 4th 2013
Source: Free on Amazon
Pages: 125
Genre: Poetry

Synopsis:
A collection of poetry by xq, published in February 2013. The pseudonym "xq" was adopted by writer Naveed Khan as an experimental anonymous release. Other works by this author include Cheap Therapy, Wrapping Paper, and Decaf.

One day, I might perhaps become something so small and insignificant to you that you only think of me as often as you think of the little particles of dust that you can see floating around the window in the late afternoon sun.
If I'm lucky enough, you'll think of me as often as never thinking of me again at all.

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE:

Amazon

The same forces that bring two people together are the same ones that pull them apart.

I only read a handful of poetry books and Semicolon definitely stands out. The beauty of words showered me with feels and the captivating emotions within this little book gave me a heartwarming experience. A few pages in and I knew I'd love this. The passion of the author is something else. You can feel it leaking as your turn every page. I am absolutely happy that I stumbled upon this poetry book! My heart is so SO full right now and don't you wish someone loves you this deeply, freely and tenderly?

OMG, what an amazing book! I highly recommend this to fans of Lang Leav! Semicolon is a feel-good and swoony book!

"I remember feeling the most alive
the moment I realized that it hurts
far more to miss something I never had
than to miss something I did."

"I learned to love you quietly, because I know you prefer silence"

"We grow together as we fall in sync with our inconsistencies"

REVIEW: TOWER OF DAWN BY SARAH J MAAS.

Title: Tower of Dawn
Author: Sarah J. Maas
Series: Throne of Glass #6
Edition: Hardbound
Publication: September 5th 2017 by Bloomsbury U.S.A. Children's Books
Source: Bought from Fullybooked
Pages: 672
Genre: High Fantasy, Romance

Synopsis:
In the next installment of the New York Times bestselling Throne of Glass series, follow Chaol on his sweeping journey to a distant empire.

Chaol Westfall has always defined himself by his unwavering loyalty, his strength, and his position as the Captain of the Guard. But all of that has changed since the glass castle shattered, since his men were slaughtered, since the King of Adarlan spared him from a killing blow, but left his body broken.

His only shot at recovery lies with the legendary healers of the Torre Cesme in Antica—the stronghold of the southern continent's mighty empire. And with war looming over Dorian and Aelin back home, their survival might lie with Chaol and Nesryn convincing its rulers to ally with them.

But what they discover in Antica will change them both—and be more vital to saving Erilea than they could have imagined.

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE:

Amazon ▴ Barnes and Noble ▴ Book Depository ▴ Fullybooked

Took me a week to finish reading Tower of Dawn because a lot of parts were too slow to the point of not moving at all. I may have skimmed some of those parts but I finally. finished. reading.

My reaction after reading that last chapter was indescribable. Pain and joy went hand in hand and I am unbelievably speechless right now, I am in awe. Sarah J. Maas has never undelivered. Tower of Dawn at first felt dragging to me but once the pace started to pick up, there had been no way for me to stop. It raised all the hairs in my body and I was at the edge of my seat, literally and figuratively.

There were debates about the cover when it was released that it didn't match the series. Well, it didn't and to be honest, I find it unimpressive at first. But hell to the yeah, the significance of it is enveloped in this story and looking at it now, I was so wrong to judge it and also super thankful I was given the chance to understand the symbol. The revelation connecting to the cover was just nerve-wracking and an absolute what-the-fuck moment.

Now that I've read this parallel installment, it isn't just a story of how Chaol is going to acquire the Khaghan's help in the war or how he is going to get healed but a story of discovery, friendship, loyalty and family. This book was called a Chaol book but it is way more than that. Here we get to see the lands beyond what we are accustomed to, their culture, their power and their people. We get to understand how important it is to reconnect with our roots and how unparalleled it is to experience - first hand - the beauty of learning beyond our differences and building relationships with that. Tower of Dawn gave me so many opportunities to rethink how vast a person's background could be and how that background could help you shape to the person you want and not want to be. There's a line in the book that says something about a soul-injury and Tower of Dawn touches that sensitive part and I could say it succeeded massively and in one way or another, helped me heal my own.

Chaol has grown into a character whose fragility got the best of him. Both physical, mental and emotional. It was so so hard to watch him break over and over and take it against those people who care for him (I wanted to throw the book out the window during one of his episodes) and at first, I couldn't understand. As he is being healed deeper and deeper, I started to see. I started to see how truly broken he was and it pains me because deep down in me I know I needed to be healed as well. Not only that, having friends who are physical therapists, Tower of Dawn is validating beyond measure.

The ups and downs of the novel would take me forever to list but I am absolutely delighted I get to meet: The ruk Kadara (I cannot wait for you to meet Abraxos), Falkan (you brave you), Hazar (a bitch but a loyal bitch), Kashin (you poor prince! I wish you were given more airtime so I'd get to know you better), Botek (an amazing woman) and Yrene Towers who stole my heart from the moment I read her name. It was all an enchanting experience and absolutely different that the other installemnts. This may be dark but not as brutal.

As always, I was in awe the moment I finished it and it may have triggered the need to re-read Empire of Storms. Also, that last chapter may have or may have not broken me.

Tower of Dawn is a beacon of light, hope, love and loyalty. It resembles with what Aelin is hoping to give her people - a better world.

"I will cherish it always.
No matter what may befall the world.
No matter the oceans, or mountains, or forests in the way."

"You must enter where you fear to tread."

"It was agony and despair and fear. It was joy and laughter and rest. It was life, all of it..."

MEET AND GREET: INTERVIEW WITH PIERCE BROWN.

After years of wishing, screaming, flailing, praying and dreaming, it finally came true. THE dream of meeting Pierce Brown finally happened. And as of this writing, my heart is so so full of joy and I am still on cloud 9 so I might be incoherent again. My knees are still shaking and there's this weird thing in my stomach that I couldn't get rid of. It was just the best day ever I was sooooo hungover by it that it took me 3 weeks to get this recap up!

Wouldn't it be awesome to have #PierceBrowninPH signing!? Oh, God. Someone make this happen! @Pierce_Brown <3

— Kate au Barca (@BookishBlurber) August 31, 2014

I was invited by National Bookstore for a 30-minute Meet and Greet with Pierce last August 27 in Raffles. Together with Kai of Amaterasu Reads and JM of The Book Freak Revelations, we went there with so much anticipation. Of course there would be so much anticipation, imagine waiting for this thing to happen since 2014. Pierce was actually at the lobby (I AM FUCKING SHAKING BY JUST REMEMBERING THE ENCOUNTER) and he came and greeted us AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, HE'S TALL, VERY GOOD LOOKING AND ABSOLUTELY DREAMY! He's wearing a simple white shirt, denim jeans, white sneakers and a leather jacket like he just came out of an action movie shoot. We then proceeded to one of the corners in the lobby and started the interview.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I introduced myself as the head of his Twitter Street Team, @PBRownPH (which I couldn't remember the password for, damn), and I said we're his PH Gang and I believe he remembered. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him because IS THIS EVEN REAL LIFE?? His eyes are the lightest shade of blue I have ever seen and it's actually bordering to light gray? I was just there, shocked, mezmerized, and wishing hard that that moment won't end.

It wasn't really a formal interview but more like we were there to talk to a friend. He made us feel so comfortable and he made us laugh so much, OMG HE IS HILARIOUS I TELL YA. We did ask questions and he did too so here are some of the bits and pieces from our 23-minute convo:

- He loves Adobo.
- He thought LA traiffic is the worst but I said, welcome to Manila!
- There will be no spoilers for Morning Star during our convo because Kai and I haven't finished reading it yet (thank you, Pierce) and that we have to finish it because Iron Gold is coming out soon.
- Pierce is a huge fan of Game of Thrones. He didn't have more to read after A Feast For Crows so he wrote books while waiting for A Dance with Dragons.
- He hopes he could top RR series with Iron Gold.
- There are 4 more characters he explored in Iron Gold and since we couldn't really get into it without spoiling MS, he only exclaimed: THE STRUGGLE IS REAL
- His favorite character is definitely Sevro (yaaaay) but their only similarity is the swear words because he has way better hygiene haha
- Character deaths he kinda regret: Lorn, Nero, Fitchner, Tactus
- The characters he would bring to life are: Viktra so he could date her wahaha, Tactus because he loved his character and Lorn because it's fun to see how he would respond to Darrow
*talks about GoT S7 EP 06* (yep, we did)
- Golden Son's ending wasn't planned at all. He initially ended it with a happy wedding but then his editor said it doesn't feel right. So Pierce went the complete opposite direction and his editor said *in Pierce's deep voice*: WHAT. THE. FUCK.
- We told him how heartbreaking the ending was and he said: "I am delighted to be able to invoke any emotion in you whatsoever." that's verbatim I mind you.
- We asked him what was going on in his head because Morning Star's initial chapters were so brutal already and he said he was in a deprivation tank for 3 hours so he could get in to Darrow's head for those scenes. Aaaahhh creepy.
- The gravboots weren't inspired by Starwars but his vision of Nero landing in front of EO in Book 1
- If given a chance to change the endings, he wouldn't change anything but perhaps add a little bit more, like more of the Jackal and Darrow in Luna and he would explore the underworld of the said planet.
- He is also open to writing novellas - Lorn's and then Servo's POV on his Pluto Journey
- When asked how does it feel to be a published author at 24 (he was 24 when RR was published), he said he doesn't stop thinking about it, he's aggressive about it, that it's wonderful finishing MS, it's a big validation for sure and the best feeling is sharing the experience with readers who get to imagine the world he built.
- The movie is developing, he will share more in the coming months. It was bought by Universal and he wrote the scripts.
- Casting for Darrow - someone unknown, it's really about finding someone who can show the emotion and has to have the presence, should also be terrifying for the part
- He is also writing a fantasy series called LampLight (wooohoooo!)
- We taught him SALAMAT
- We showed him our Golden Son ARCs and he loved it!
- I told him it was a dream come true to meet him and he said we were very pretty persistent on Twitter (which confirms he noticed HAHAHA)

HE IS SO AMAZING, ISN'T HE??

After the short interview ( I SWEAR I DIDN'T WANT IT TO END), we asked if he could sign our books and take photos with him. You see, I wasn't really myself in the course of this interview because ughhhh I forgot to:
- ask for a short video for his message to fans and
- take a #KaiSelfie (Kaiiiiiii!!!)
I mean, I dunno man but I was just simply on cloud nine floating and unbelievably grateful for this wonderful chance~~~~~

I will never ever ever ever forget this day to be honest. I waited a long time for this to actually happen - wait no... I actually gave up! I wasn't expecting this anymore. So THANK YOU SO EVER MUCH PIERCE FOR COMING TO MANILA!!!! It truly means so so much to me, to all your fans here!!

Thank you @Pierce_Brown for today ❤️ I will never forget it! Thank you, thank you, thank you! ❤️ #PierceBrowninPH pic.twitter.com/PEewc8dsSJ

— Kate au Barca (@BookishBlurber) August 27, 2017

BEST! DAY!!!! EVEEEERRRRR!!

QUESTION: WHAT WOULD YOU ASK PIERCE BROWN IN PERSON?

THANK YOU NATIONAL BOOKSTOREEEEEEEEEE!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOUUUUUU!

HOW I STAY ORGANIZED + TUTORIAL.

Being a blogger, a gundam builder, a calligrapher and a bujo-ist while working a full time job you could probably say... challenging. From having to meet all review deadlines up while maintaining social media presence could be a little too intimidating and sometimes frustrating. It's as if your hobby becomes your job, too. I have been trying to find the balance between my job, hobbies and well, entire life but nothing just seemed to work for me without sacrificing some of the things I love. Until I started to Bullet Journal (again) and this time, for good.

At first, Bullet journaling for me eats more time that I wanted it to because I was too focused on making spreads pretty instead of really focusing on its function. So I played around with it, to get a feel of what works and what does not until I found the right rhythm. It helps in so many aspects of my life but majorly in book blogging. I get to see a month's overview with all my deadlines and how I would be able to meet those. I am not too strict though because more often than not, I miss some of these scheduled posts due to sudden reading/blogging slump and procrastination HAHA

Above photo is a sample of the blog posts I should be wrapping up this month. A lot right? But when I get to tick one or two, the productivity juices just shoot right up and I wouldn't be able to stop until I see all of them ticked. Maybe it's just me but seriously, BuJo pushes me to be more productive.

I also love calligraphy and lettering. But since I do NOT have much time to allot to practicing my calligraphy, I decided to incorporate it with BuJo. So I literally practice with my BuJo Headers and Page titles. 'Blog Posts' Header on the above photo is also a sample. This style is like, my Go-To and a lot of people liked it! I've been asked many times how I do it! That being said, I thought of just filming a quick tutorial for you guys who are interested.


Materials:
- Townbow N55
- Tombow 772 (or any light colored blendable brush pen/marker like Crayola Supertips)
- Blender (mine is a water color brush I got from The Craft Central)
- Muji black pen (or any black pen)
- Uni-ball Signal White Pen
- Pentel Fude Brush Pen (optional; you can use a black pen or gray marker for the shadow)

Also, sorry for the messy letters. I was holding the phone on one hand and writing on the other. Controlling was a struggle HAHA but you get the gist. Also, blend it with as little water as possible and make sure the inks are still somehow wet.

I hope you'd find this post helpful in one way or another! Comment below if you have more questions.

Do you have a bullet journal? If yes, how does it help you overall in your life? If no, how do you stay organized?

#MIBF2017 SHOPPING EXPERIENCE!

This is my fourth time attending the Manila International Book Fair and as expected, it was tiring BUT SO MUCH FUN! This year I only get to roam the ground floor with Gavin. I stayed for about 2 hours but damn son, my mortal body could no longer endure it. I was only planning to get TWO books but who am I kidding, right? Brought home 6 books and I could die happy.

I just went directly to FullyBooked's booth because the number one book I was hoping to get was there and I crossed all crossables that it's still there! GLAD TO REPORT I BAGGED THE LAST (HB) PIECE OF MORE HAPPY THAN NOT! WOOOOOOT!! When Dimple Me Rishi was the second book I was hoping to buy but according to the lovely staff, they didn't get any HBs yet and they aren't sure when they would get stocks. So I think I'll just order from Book Depo. Then Crooked Kingdom was just on the other shelf so I also got a copy. QUEEN LB YO! Anyway, I went then to National Bookstore (of course, I would) and was seriously contemplating about buying books for Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian's signing but I realized I had to buy like 6 books for the signing so meeeh, I didn't push through with it. Instead, I grabbed 3 Anvil Books and Strange the Dreamer!

BOUGHT:
ANVIL BOOTH
- Kids These Days (Stories from Luna East Arts Academy Vol. 1) by various Filipino authors
- The Year We Became Invincible by Mae Coyiuto
- Simply Joei by Clare Elisabeth Marquez

NATIONAL BOOKSTORE:
- Strange the Dreamer (Strange the Dreamer #1) by Laini Taylor

FULLYBOOKED:
- Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows #2) by Leigh Bardugo
- More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera (!!!!!!!!)

These are the books I sacrificed my allowance for two weeks for but hell, these are worth it! AND THE HAPPINESS I FEEL WHENEVER I GET NEW BOOKS IS BLOODYDAMN (I just referenced Red Rising!) PRICELESS! WOULDN'T EXCHANGE IT FOR ANYTHING ELSE! I've titled this "Shipping Experience" because I think this is the first time IN A WHILE that I have spent this much on books? HAHA OMGGGGG WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE

Here is my live-tweet thread: MIBF2017

My 2012 and First MIBF Experience!

My 2013 MIBF Experience!

My 2015 MIBF Experience!

How many books did you get?

REVIEW: THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END BY ADAM SILVERA.

Title: They Both Die at the End
Author: Adam Silvera
Series: Standalone
Edition: Kindle
Publication: September 5th 2017 by HarperTeen
Source: eARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss
Pages: 384
Genre: Contemporary, M/M, LGBTQPIA+, Romance

Synopsis:
On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They're going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they're both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There's an app for that. It's called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure and to live a lifetime in a single day.

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE:

Amazon ▴ Barnes and Noble ▴ Book Depository ▴ HarperCollins

I am a huge mess right now! I have been pacing back and forth and I just cannot wrap my mind around how gooooood this book is! It is definitely one of the best books of the year! This is my second Silvera book and HE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!

LIKE WTH JUST HAPPENED? My heart is racing right now because this book gave me so many things at once. There is the beauty of knowing you have one last day to live so you get the chance to literally live it to the fullest, there's the chance of becoming the person you always wanna be even for just a day, there's the ability to say proper goodbyes to people who meant so much to you and there's this opportunity for you to touch people's lives in more meaningful ways. You get to live the next several hours left pushing past your boundaries and making the most out of it without the fear of regrets later. I mean, if that's not beautiful, I don't know what is! What happened to Rufus and Mateo is etched in my heart so so deeply that it pushes me to get out of my comfort zone. This story just pushed me so hard that now I want to be out there leaving marks.

Mateo and Rufus' story is absolutely one story that will leave you on edge and holding your breath. The anticipation is so high I am both nervous and scared. Once you read it, it stays in your system and I swear, I would babble about this one for a long, long time. Their friendship breaks the stereotype that you have to know a person this long in order to build trust and all that bullshit because M and R had a day and theirs had even more history than some of my friendships combined. It's so special, nurturing, welcoming and free. I want more friendships like this.

They way the story was told is another thing that blows my mind. It's an alternating POV between M and R and several more surprise POVs which soooo kickass because of how they are interrelated. Words are failing me right now but this damn book should be made in to a movie and I wanna see this Number #1 in NYT BestSellers List because THIS IS ONE HELL OF A GRIPPING BOOK I WILL FOREVER BOOK PUSH TO YOU ALL. (That is if you aren't convinced yet that Silvera delivers, but I know you are BECAUSE THIS IS ADAM SILVERA, PEOPLE)

I think Adam is really the Evil Queen in disguise. He loves ripping our hearts out and enjoys swimming in his reader's tears.

They Both Die at the End is one of those books that will change you because you certainly won't be the same person after reading. A gripping story of two lives crossing paths at the very end, it all in all teaches you to live to the fullest, love hardcore and seize every fucking moment as if every day is your last day.

Thank you HarperCollins International for the eARC!

"But no matter what choices we make - solo or together - our finish line remains the same … No matter how we choose to live, we both die at the end."

"Entire lives aren't lessons, but there are lessons in lives."

"Maybe it's better to have gotten it right and been happy for one day instead of living a lifetime of wrongs."

"People have their time stamps on how long you should know someone before earning the right to say it, but I wouldn't like to you no matter how little time we have. People waste time and wait for the right moment and we don't have that luxury. If we had our entire lives ahead of us I bet you'd get tired of me telling you how much I love you because I'm positive that's thepath we were heading on. But because we're about to die, I want to say it as many times as I want--I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

BLOG TOUR REVIEW: HOW TO DISAPPEAR BY SHARON HUSS ROAT.

I would like to thank my amazing friend, Hazel of Stay Bookish, for allowing me to be a part of this blog tour! I really enjoyed How To Disappear and hopefully you would, too!

Title: How to Disappear
Author: Sharon Huss Roat
Series: Standalone
Edition: Kindle // Paperback
Publication: August 15th 2017 by HarperTeen
Source: eARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss // ARC loaned by Hazel
Pages: 384
Genre: Contemporary, Mental Illness, Romance

Synopsis:
Vicky Decker has perfected the art of hiding in plain sight, quietly navigating the halls of her high school undetected except by her best (and only) friend, Jenna. But when Jenna moves away, Vicky’s isolation becomes unbearable.

So she decides to invent a social life by Photoshopping herself into other people’s pictures, posting them on Instagram under the screen name Vicurious. Instantly, she begins to get followers, so she adds herself to more photos from all over the world with all types of people. And as Vicurious’s online followers multiply, Vicky realizes she can make a whole life for herself without ever leaving her bedroom. But the more followers she finds online, the clearer it becomes that there are a lot of people out there who feel like her— #alone and #ignored in real life.

To help them, and herself, Vicky must find the courage to face her fear of being “seen,” because only then can she stop living vicariously and truly bring the magic of Vicurious to life.

In this beautiful and illuminating narrative, Sharon Huss Roat shines a light on our love of social media and how sometimes being the person you think you want to be isn’t as great as being the person you truly are.

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE:

Amazon ▴ Barnes and Noble ▴ Book Depository

Vicky is an invisible girl in her high school who is only getting through the day with the help of her best friend, Jenna. She has social anxiety and it is so hard for her to go out and be around people. Jenna moved to another state and Vicky is having a hard time adjusting to life without her. It started getting worse when Jenna butt dialed her and mentioned to her new friends that Vicky is pathetic. But Jenna dumps her but Lipton enters the picture. Vicky then started photoshopping herself in different photos and uploading them on Instagram under the handle @vicurious. This helped her find her people and it helped her a little bit to cope. She never thought she'd gain more than 2 million followers and that she'd finally be seen. She started feeling a little bit okay until Jenna texted her and implied she's suicidal.

First 50% of the book is where the build-ups happened. It was excruciating because there are moments I couldn't really understand what Vicky wants. She wanted to be seen but she's trying so hard to be invisible and she clearly shuts everyone out. It was also excruciating because I feel like it's started dragging and that I am starting to also get tired of Vicky and her mother to be honest. I powered through holding on to the fact that Lipton is there, and that I wanted to really know how the events would unfold.

I only started to connect to her through those small moments I can identify with what she's going through. It is at times frustrating but by watching her tell her story, I gained focus. It's hard when your brain is not functioning the way it's designed and it's harder when the people around you add to the pressure and keeps pointing out what is wrong with you. Vicky was alone in her battle and she's always at war with herself. I am just so glad she found her people even just from social media because I know she did feel accepted in there. I loved how her huge following didn't get to her head and that she welcomed help at the end. The most important thing is when she confronted her mother. I also felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. It was a relief and very crucial that family is there for us.

How to Disappear is a battle against invisibility, bullying, name-calling, slut-shaming, peer pressure, depression and anxiety. It is also an eye-opener for those who are clueless as to what is really happening in our heads. It implies such a strong message: You are not alone in this fight, I see you.

Thanks you Hazel and HarperCollins International for the galleys!

"I cringe at the pictures of cut marks, of blood dripping down pale arms or thighs slashed and raw. Of too-thin bodies, and mascara-stained cheeks. People are liking their photos, which feels wrong. Is that what they want--positive reinforcement of their suffering? Or maybe it's just acknowledgement. To be seen. They expose their deepest paint for a handful of little red hearts."

"Joy attracts and misery repels."

"But the kissing? This is something worth living for."