REVIEW: MY HEART AND OTHER BLACK HOLES BY JASMINE WARGA.

Title: My Heart and Other Black Holes
Author: Jasmine Warga
Series: Standalone
Edition: Hardcover
Publication: February 10th 2015 by HarperCollins/Balzer + Bray
Source: Bought from Fullybooked
Pages: 302
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Mental Illness, Suicide

Synopsis:
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner.

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince.

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SPOILER ALERT - SPOILER ALERT - SPOILER ALERT

Welps. This is why I don't really want to be exposed to book hypes, this is the reason why I don't want to read book reviews for those hyped ones, this is also why I don't even want to entertain bandwagons on Twitter - because I usually get disappointed with hyped books. I did enjoy this book don't get me wrong but I was like, fed lies on social media about it. Maybe I would have loved it if I wasn't exposed too much to everything about My Heart and Black Holes. I guess that's good for the book's publicity but welps, not for me sorry.

So Anika was pretty much depressed because her mother looks at her as if she's her murderer father, because she feels like the entire town sees her as a monster (because of the murder), her work and co-workers are somewhat irritated by her presence (because of the murder) and her high school treats her like shit after her dad killed the first boy who would have represented their town in the Olympics. So, okay. That was nasty shit she's going through there and I just want to hug her and reassure her that this too shall pass but I just kept reading. She's scrolling through this suicide website and she finds a partner. She's basically decided she will kill herself so she met Roman through this website and they met and dicussed their plans. They have like twenty six days (I forgot) to go before kill themselves so they can master up a plan and you know, this is a novel so there's definitely a plot twist somewhere. So in the twenty something days, ugh the cliche of all cliche happens, they started to be friends - they hang out, talk a lot, Roman introduced Anika to his mother and all that - basically Anika kind of fell in love with Roman and she decided not to kill herself anymore but to live for him *WELPS*. She has to convince Roman not to do it, like, you know, for her maybe? *WELPS WELPS* Now, I am not entirely evil so I will leave the ending for readers to figure out but if you base it on the entire plot line, you'd guess it *WELPS*

That's it. I mean, that's entirely it. I didn't cry because I wasn't that impressed. I didn't hate it too much because there are parts that honestly pinched sides of my heart but guys, I just can't take how heavily hyped this is then I get nada. It maybe also because I read a lot of suicide themed books and I got immune with the pain? Also maybe I was expecting too much because The Last Time We Say Goodbye practically set the bar too high as well? Anika is a good person and she's not her father I don't understand why she can't see it. What also happened to the visiting brother of the victim? It just disappeared like that? Grief is there, loss is there, every possible aspect that could push someone to off themselves are present but I think it focused too much on the romance aspect. Like how they filled that void up in their lives and shit, I mean, thank goodness people find other people to save them but I guess I was expecting a friendship of some sort instead of hitting it like that right away just because they are on the same boat. What about their differences then? What about things outside their goal to checkout? Would they still fall for each other? The author could have developed trust and friendship and maybe ended it with the blossoming romance? Well, am not the author haha

My Heart and Other Black Holes is a nice debut tackling such a heavy theme and nailed it. It is beautifully written no doubt but I wish there's more elaboration to it than romance. A friendship sometimes works best. Authors should try that.

"Depression is like a heaviness that you can’t ever escape. It crushes down on you, making even the smallest things like tying your shoes or chewing on toast seem like a twenty-mile hike uphill. Depression is a part of you; it’s in your bones and your blood."

"Life can seem awful and unfixable until the universe shifts a little and the observation point is altered, and then suddenly, everything seems more bearable."